So it turns out.......

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by timer lady, Jun 15, 2011.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    that kt has been physically aggressive toward her staff. Specifically her Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker (tho her PCA is starting to be pushed). No one reported it to me.

    The push for Residential Treatment Center (RTC) treatment is going full force. I'm stepping out as the professionals are stepping in "persuading" kt to go to treatment.

    kt's staff supervisors were at wm's staffing this afternoon. After the 2 hour meeting for wm I met with the team that works with kt outside in the drive & was informed of kt's aggression. I lost it with the staff's supervisors because I wasn't informed of the physical aggression nor the 3 times she ran away from staff. The treatment plan states if kt runs or is aggressive in any manner 911 is to be called & kt's little behind is transported to ER.

    My frustration has turned to outright anger over not informing me. Not following the risk management plan. It appears I'm the out of the loop brain injured mum who can't keep track of schedules let alone kt's increasing dissociative states & physical aggression.

    On it goes...
  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Good Grief! Did you express your disbelief when you met with the team? It seems like it is past time to ask them "what to H is your goal?" Cross-purposes does Kt no good, for sure. DDD
  3. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green


    TO: Team refusing to follow their OWN plan
    FROM: The supposed drooling lump in the corner you pat on the head now and then

    Ironic as it sounds coming from the person with the medical issues, you seem to be confused. Somehow you have come to the conclusion that YOU are in charge of MY child's life. You are mistaken. While it is true that I am recovering from a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) (that is RECOVERING as in GETTING BETTER. NOT stalled, plateaued or regressing. RE-CO-VER-ING), you are overlooking a very important fact. I AM THE MOM. Kt is my daughter and if she has managed to elude your TRAINED STAFF, I need to know. Why? Because I AM THE MOM. If she becomes physical/violent with your TRAINED STAFF, I need to know. Why? Because I AM THE MOM. If there are concerns about MY CHILD, I need to know. Why? Because I AM THE MOM.

    I find myself wondering why I have been kept out of the loop. Is it because you think that I am incapable of being a mother? Or would it be because your TRAINED STAFF have managed to LOSE my daughter on more than one occasion? Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) or not, I AM THE MOM. Legally, emotionally, physically and realistically. I have advocated for my children for years and won't stop now. Why? Because I AM THE MOM. Your patronizing behavior towards me and your flat out refusal to follow not only your own rules but the LAW, will stop NOW. I may be tired, I may be forgetful and I may be a bit more detached than in the past but I'm still here. I'm still involved in my children's lives. I'm still the one making decisions. I'm still the one living with Kt. I AM STILL THE MOM.
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2011
  4. ML

    ML Guest

    what the mustang lady said!
  5. keista

    keista New Member

    mustang :bravo:
  6. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Yep...what Stang said.
  8. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Excellent memo Stang! Timerlady -- send it!!!
  9. pepperidge

    pepperidge New Member

    Linda, so sorry. How worried you must be that KT seems to be regressing and unable to hold it together, yet fighting Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I'm glad at least they are trying to get a placement for her.
  10. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    'Stang, thanks for the memo ~ believe I will be sending it out to staff & their supervisors this morning.

    Thanks for the "memo"(ries???
    :groan: sorry). The journey moves forward this morning ~ let's see where it goes.

  11. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    I nominate 'Stang to be the resident memo/letter writer.

    I hope you do send it, Linda. They've been pulling this **** for too long.
  12. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    So....what did they say????
  13. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I echo what D3 and Mustang said -

    Linda - I am sooooo soo angry over this - You go show em what a lump in the corner is made of.....

  14. Jena

    Jena New Member


    I'm so sorry, i had no idea it had gotten to this level. I hope that mustang's memo along with-your thoughts helps resolve the craziness these people are experiencing ........... their insane! the team should have a team.

    thinking of you!

  15. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    This is so nuts. It seems they a have all forgotten that no matter what you are the person who fought tooth and nail to get them involved in kt's care. Leaving you out of the loop is inexcusable.

    I also vote for stang as the resident memo writer. That memo ROCKS. I hope the team reads it and understands that you are going to come after them with a BIG discipline stick if they don't stop this nonsense. I will even send you my biggest rolling pin. Actually I have one you fill with cold water to roll out pie. I will pick up some concrete and fill it with that and then you can use it to hammer that point into their scheming brains.

    It has seemed for a while that the team or at least an influuential and subversive part of it is trying to get you out of kt and wm's lives.First it was guardianship. Then it was little things. Now it is not telling you about MAJOR things - things that could get a child sent to juvie (assault on staff) which is the LAST place kt should be. It would ruin her and traumatize her incredibly.

    It almost seems as if they want you to just be a decoration, not an actual person or parent and certainly not involved with them or you children. If the memo doesn't work, call your attorney. THAT ought to stop this koi. Of course, not telling you COULD be cya'ing on the part of the staff if they did things that they knew would upset or trigger kt. And if that is happening, they need to be replaced.

    Please let us know the response to the memo.
  16. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    The memo was sent & replied to by kt's team, most specifically by mental health care manager & risk management supervisor. Apologies were offered & the team has agreed to keep me in the loop.

    I had to remind them that as kt's legal guardian I am responsible for any & all decisions for & behaviors kt exhibits. In the end, the buck stops here, not at their office door.

    'Stang, again thanks for the memo. Thank you all for your support & wisdom.
  17. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Wow you are amazing and I can see that this could easily be in my future. I too have an adopted son with attachment issues he also had autism and an acquired brain injury. He too was agressive not only with me this week but his adapted gym teacher. The team handled everything right but the principal heard (never has attended a meeting, doesn't know the plan etc.) and decided....hey doesn't matter what the IEP team, the district behavior team, the outside BI specialist, mom and the two administrators that DO attend the meetings say is appropriate, no matter the Behavior plan worked, I think I'll add on a lame suspension several days after the fact, just for a day so it looks like I'm doing something about all of this. REALLY? difficult child will never connect the dots. But it will upset the routine, and cause anxiety and undo all of the work we have done in the first 3 weeks. Likely he will increase the anxiety which then increases the aggression EVERY single time. I am so sick of know it all people butting in when parents are on the job and a plan is in place!
    YOU GO GIRL! amazing.
  18. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Stang, that was awesome.

    Linda, I'm glad they got the message loud and clear. And I'm sorry kt is once again taking steps backward instead of forward.

  19. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Hound, in case you didn't notice, this thread is 4 months old.