So what do you call it when someone with a mood disorder...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by gcvmom, Nov 24, 2008.

  1. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    diagnosis'd or not, starts acting this way:

    short tempered
    hypersensitive (ranting on about perceived "slights"; overreacting; taking everything personally; no sense of humor)
    hypercritical (demanding to know "why did you do it this way?" or "why can't you just do it the way I told you?")
    emotionally reactive (yelling or raising voice considerably in response to normal situations instead of conversing in a normal voice)
    provocative (seeming to be driven to escalate situations instead of letting things go -- almost perseverating...)

    Is this depression? Is this manic irritability?

    husband has bee like this since he got home tonight. He admitted to feeling edgy when I asked him if he was o.k. because he just looked like he was uptight.

    He had picked difficult child 2 up from basketball practice and took him out to dinner. Then came home and changed clothes so he could work on a small project (covering up the roof of the coop since it's supposed to rain tonight) that would have only taken about 30 minutes to finish, but he got sidetracked looking for some supplies so it took about an hour. Then after he fixed the roof he set to work trying to get a TV remote working, but ran into some trouble with the cable channels not being set up right. His frustration tolerance must have been very low, because a short time later he started firing questions at me about Thanksgiving, not really giving me a chance to answer, and then lobbed an emotional grenade angrily accusing me of not telling him anything about what was planned for Thanksgiving. This all kind of mushroomed out of the blue.

    And then he mutters something about of course he's short tempered because of the changes in his medications (he's off Paxil completely, off Lamictal, and now on just Trileptal). I emailed him last week at work to tell him he really needs to call the psychiatrist to ask about something to help with this irritability, short temper and lack of patience, and at the time he was very open to the suggestion and said he'd give him a call this week.

    I don't think husband would get a diagnosis of BiPolar (BP), but I do think cyclothymia is a possibility -- sort of a mild BiPolar (BP) if you will.

    I just let his ranting wash over me and kept thinking that this man is really struggling right now -- it's amazing how much calmer I can be when I realize this is his illness talking.

    But dang, it sure is exasperating to realize he's essentially back at square one after having come so far this summer. I hope he makes that appointment soon...
  2. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    I am having a dim moment. Why were his medications changed? Were they not working anymore? Seems to me that he needs something more with the Trileptal.

  3. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Well, Lamictal gave him a rash, thus the transition to Trileptal.

    And then he got confused about taking Paxil with Trileptal.

    He was told that Trileptal reduces Paxil's efficacy by 50% (or so) and then got himself thinking that it was Paxil that reduced Trileptal and he thought it would interfere with the seizure control so he thought he should go off the Paxil. Wrong. I dug out my notes and reminded him this. I believe he finally sees that he DOES need something more.

    I'm just curious about what I'm seeing in him and how one would classify it.
  4. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    My first thought was a teenager. Then of course menopause. I know these things don't help. Seems the depression could be working out of control. I know from experience that before I got mine under control that is the way I would get. A little paxil, a little geodon and some ativan and I was great. Then I decided I wanted off the medications (I would forget cuz I am no good at taking care of myself just everyone else). So then I learned a lot of coping skills and weaned off the medications. Paxil stuck with me for a LONG time. So it could also still be paxil withdrawl. Because when I say a long time I swear I was still effected by the withdrawl for over a year.

  5. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Sounds like hypomania to me, but that's just an (somewhat) educated guess.
  6. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    In difficult child, usually depression. The way I can tell (or think I can tell) is the decrease in motivation, sadness/easily hurt feelings, giving up on things- if these things appear with the irratability, then it's depression. If difficult child has periods of hyperness, excessive talking, or cleaning sprees or "hyper-focusing" on something in the midst of irratibility, I think it's either pure hypomania or rapid cycling between hypomania and depression.

    I'm not sure that this applpies to everyone though- maybe a lot of it has to do with what's characteristic for that person.
  7. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    With my difficult child it signifies depression. Also with easy child a bit. In fact, I had to point it out to easy child and she started taking her AD again - she's since improved. With difficult child, she will point it out if I just stare at her agape for a moment or two after one of her little outbursts or a rant about a perceived slight. But she won't take medications at all. I think she's okay for the time being without it.

    I hope he sees his DR and figures things out. And I hope you hang in there until he does. Hugs~
  8. Star*

    Star* call 911

    holds up another hand in the back of the lunchroom for depression -

    This is Dude all over - nothing is right, EVERYONE is wrong, leave me alone, growly bear.....

    I don't have a name for it or anything but I do call it Pita syndrome.

    And it's My A thats in the P of the word Pita....maybe....I should call it PIMA syndrome - yup. That's it! I renamed an entire generations acryonym.


    HUGS -

    does help when you distance yourself from their disorder, but DF keeps asking - HOW FAR away do we have to go before it's not ANY part of our lives....(he's such a funny man) :laugh:
  9. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I know he's feeling bad this morning about last night's behavior -- asked me if I still loved this crazy man ;) I said of course and that he just needs to find something to make himself feel better. There's no reason life has to be this way. So maybe he'll get off his butt and make the call today.

    Thanks for the feedback. I think he is depressed. But with his ADHD, it's easy to also think he's hypomanic in the midst of all this because he does go through these flurries of driven activities. At least it's chore-related these days and not gambling or focused on sex... he's been a lot worse.
  10. Star*

    Star* call 911

    How could you NOT love a sexy Pirate man who's wife feeds the coyotes tainted trout????

    YOU GO SEXY PIRATE MAN! :tongue:
  11. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Yeah, he's all AAARRRRGH! today, that's for sure ;) He's working from home (because he's tired he says) with his laptop today and sitting near me kibb itching about difficult child 2's basketball coach, the practice schedule, how poorly difficult child 2 performs (so what), how he's treated during practice (just fine in my opinion), blah, blah, BLAH, BLAH, blah, blah...

    When he gets like this, I have to just stop what I'm doing and let him get it all out of his system. It's like he's got all this steam built up (and it's only 9am!)... Until recently, I always felt like I had to engage him and try to offer solutions to whatever he was complaining about or upset about. And that would jack up my anxiety. Which eventually got ME depressed. Now I just nod my head and detach while I watch him go off like a geyser (or is that geezer?). Then he settles down for a while until something else gets his attention.

    I think I'd better run some errands today if there's to be any peace for me!
  12. Star*

    Star* call 911

    YOU ROCK THE SHIP YOU SEXY PIRATE WENCH....with chicks.:tongue:
  13. mom_in_training

    mom_in_training New Member

    Wow gcv, Your Pirate man, Oh I mean ummm husband has been through allot. Hard to pinpoint the mood change considering all that hes been through. I just wanted to mention the fact that when my son first started taking Keppra his personality went from happy go lucky laughing all of the time to mad at the world. It lasted for quite some time but eventually did subside thank god. I had mentioned several times to his Neuro that I wanted him off of this medication because of his being angry all of the time. I told the Dr I can handle it but what bothers me more is the fact that my son is feeling this way all of the time. I know I would hate going through everyday being mad at the world and wanted very much to help my son get through this even if it meant no more Keppra. He had no side effects from the Trileptal at all when he started taking that almost two years ago. His seizures are pretty much controlled at this point and we do plan on weaning him from the Keppra eventually. The less drugs the better. Any drug regardless of what it is might not work well for one person but work out very well for another. I think in your husbands case that his body is adjusting to the Trileptal. It does take time. I see that hes already been weaned from his other medications, Thats great!!!! Geeze, It took over a year just to wean my son off of Dilantin. Yikes!!!! But he had been on it since he was like two years old though and at the time we weaned him he was almost 19 years old and is now 21.

    Bless your heart for being there for him, Your an angel. And you know what as much as you don't think so, He appreciates it i'm sure. He just won't tell you that. Lol!!! Hang in there gcv, It will get better.
  14. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    He sounds like me! When I am not so stable... When I am Hypo and can slip into Mania. Sometimes it is a mixed state. It goes back and forth.
    When the agitation and not the high takes over sometimes that is more depressed. It does not always have to be down like we think in book terms. I can get irritable and restless and annoyed. Not want to go out. Kind of stuck in my head. But I am not manic.
    But I am annoying!!!

    Then I can get up, agitated, less sleep, going, unfocused, arguing... that is my more manic or hypo side depending on how bad it gets.
    I was on a two week hardly any sleep 3 weeks ago! That sucked. I have to try so hard to hold it together.
    It is really hard to look at yourself at those times and see that you might be wrong. Tee-hee
    Or you might be unfocused, starting too many projects and not finishing one!!!
    It is confusing at times for each individual and that is why we are supposed to keep a journal!
    I will start mine soon...
  15. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    May I ask why he had a craniotomy?

    I would imagine that the fires you have all experienced, and now the threat of mudslides, would have you all on edge. My husband has these symptoms and calls this "agitated depression".

    I actually can feel the "stewing vibes" his psyche emits. It's very unnerving, almost contagious.
  16. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    3S, the surgery was to remove a cavernoma (cluster of abnormal capillaries that leak) from his right TL. But he's had these mood issues since I've known him, and from what I hear, since he was a teenager (hmmmm... pulled a broken shotgun on some bullies who followed him home (got arrested)... got kicked out of college (twice) for hitting someone...). So MIT, I can't blame his demeanor on the Trileptal, and I can't blame it on the recent events entirely. This is typical him. I think he's seeing how different this is to how he was this past summer when the other medications he was on, despite their disagreeable side effects, were keeping his life very smooth, very stable, very happy.

    Toto, your periods of instability DO sound similar to his. I'm just hoping the wee bit of self awareness he's developed over the past year kicks in soon. Not looking forward to the holidays with him slipping into a pit...
  17. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Okay, tonight he's going for ROUND 2 of what appears to be a nightly RANT. Grrrrr! Same routine as yesterday. Scurried around doing chores for an hour outside, came in and tried messing with programming some cable channels, got frustrated, started ranting at difficult child 1 because he'd asked him THREE TIMES (or so he says) whether or not he had homework and said difficult child 1 told him no each time. Only to find out (from me, who knows better about difficult child 1) that he has A LOT of homework. Starts yelling at him, calling him a liar, etc. Then a few minutes later in another part of the house, starts demanding answers from me for why difficult child 1 is this way and what are we going to do about it! He was really getting himself worked up and trying to draw me in for a knock-down-drag-out-argument over this. I didn't take the bait, though. I simply asked if we could table it so difficult child 1 could get his work done since it's already 90 minutes later than when he usually starts (took him for his flu shot after school). He did let it drop, but it was very reluctantly. I shooed him away to take the other two to Chuck E. Cheese's like he'd promised earlier, but he still made some snide remarks still trying to get me to engage. Deflect, deflect, deflect. I'm getting good at this!

    difficult child 1 says he thinks husband has been "WAY over the top" for the past month or so. Which pretty much correlates to him coming off the Paxil and then Lamictal. I think it's worsened since coming off Lamictal.

    Sigh. He was such a good husband for a while. Looks like Mr. Hyde is back.
  18. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Luckily for me, husband and our therapist have convinced me that I have to LISTEN to husband when I start to destabilize. I don't like it, I fight it! But in the end I know husband loves me and he is not *messing* with my head!
    When I went off my Lamictal, I started getting more of all of my symptoms and couldn't sleep. I was a raging...well lunatic!
    He basically told me this much. I cried, I fought it.
    But I had to be honest with myself. All of the other stuff had not been working, the vitamins, the exercise etc... I need medications.
    So I made an apt with a psychiatrist.
    He is going with me to the next apt so he can meet her and know who I go to and have a dialogue with her. Feel comfortable in case something were to happen.

    I know it is hard, for both of you. It has been such a long hard road for me to step back and let someone else tell me when I am losing control. I think it will always be a blow and very difficult to swallow.
    But this is my life, especially if I want to stay married and help my kids.
    I hope he realizes this also. It is so important to listen to others.
  19. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Admittedly, I haven't read all these posts/replies, but I had another thought. This, of course, is all based on my difficult child and who knows if he fitsd the norm for anything. But, if your husband has only tried AD's (I might be remebering that wrong), but he is actually bipolar, I wonder if that's causing a problem. Has he tried mood stabilizers?
  20. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Toto, you're right, it's very hard -- hard to admit you have a real problem, hard to accept help from others, etc.

    klmno -- He first started on Paxil and did just o.k. (we thought he was having panic attacks but they turned out to be seizures). Then Lamictal was added and he was like a NEW MAN... the man I THOUGHT I married! He's gotten much worse since stopping Paxil and then Lamictal for a number of reasons. So now he's just on Trileptal and I'm being reminded daily that he's not stable, and I'm trying to gently remind him daily of this fact. If this goes on much longer, though, I may have to use a hammer. :p

    I find it very interesting that these little meltdowns are happening about the same time evening. Although, he did have a smaller one this morning... and I tried to keep busy running errands most of the day since he was working from home...

    Santa, all I want for Christmas is a new prescription for my man!