So what do you do when they DON'T learn from natural consequences? Give up?

[BusynMember]

If someone is able to stop their teenager from eating sugary foods and drinking soda PLEASE pass on the info. We don't have that at home, but I know he gets them out of the house and he has awful teeth. However, I do think part of that is hereditary. My entire family has awful teeth, regardless of how good we take care of them. And my son we adopted from Hong Kong was not forced to take good care of his teeth while he was in the orphanage and he didn't get regular dental check ups either. The first time I took him to the dentist, I was ready to hear he had ten cavities. Instead, he had NONE and my biological son had five...lol.

 

[DazedandConfused]

If someone is able to stop their teenager from eating sugary foods and drinking soda PLEASE pass on the info. We don't have that at home, but I know he gets them out of the house and he has awful teeth. However, I do think part of that is hereditary. My entire family has awful teeth, regardless of how good we take care of them. And my son we adopted from Hong Kong was not forced to take good care of his teeth while he was in the orphanage and he didn't get regular dental check ups either. The first time I took him to the dentist, I was ready to hear he had ten cavities. Instead, he had NONE and my biological son had five...lol.

Bold and italics mine.

I'm with you, MWM. I can not have them in my house, but that only drives Son to get them elsewhere.

Hereditary has A LOT to do with teeth. I didn't visit the dentist until I was 23. The only tooth I had "pulled" was being held down while my Dad pulled it out with a pair of pliers. Anyway, I only had ONE minor cavity. husband has had tons of dental work. Both son and Daughter are lazy about their teeth. Daughter is going in next week for a cleaning because her breath STINKS. She made the appointment and is driving herself in. I'm not too keen to take her because of our "brawl" in the parking lot after the wisdom teeth fiasco a couple of years ago.

Son is also noncompliant when it comes to brushing teeth. He has the inflamed gums to prove it. He battles me every step of the way and then lies to me that he did brush them. I have to stand and watch if I want him to brush more than five seconds.

This reminds me to take Son in too. Son got an infected ingrown toenail (very painful) and he didn't tell me and I just happened to notice it. OMG! It got to the point that he was walking funny. The shot to numb is the worse part when having it removed and then it has to be soaked and dressed TWICE day for at least two weeks. I won't go into details but Son was extremely uncooperative and it got worse and he had to have ANOTHER shot to have the other side of the nail removed. He decided to comply under the threat of a third shot. I took him to the foot doctor yesterday and finally got the all clear. Daughter had to see the foot doctor yesterday for a sore arch; she has extremely high arch and recently went back to work at a lifeguard and had been walking around on the cement barefoot for eight hours. I have foot problems and husband has in the past. We feel like our Podiatrist is the family doctor!

 

[AnnieO]

I have terrible teeth, but I was born with a birth defect where my tooth enamel didn't form properly, so can't protect the teeth. Cost me all of my top teeth despite my brushing and flossing from the time I could hold the brush myself (I remember my mom flossing my teeth when I was too little to do it my self).

Similar to mine; I was also very ill as a toddler (jello water and rice cakes, mom said, was all I could tolerate). Bad dental heredity and then I hated brushing. I don't any more! Hate it that is. Not my favorite activity, but - !

 

[GoingNorth]

Step, that's interesting that you say that regarding childhood illnesses. I was a sickly child: born premie (7 mos back in 1960), had rheumatic fever and measles one after the other and constant strep throats. Spent most of a year in bed and years on penicillin therapy. I would wonder if that hasn't played a role as well.

 

[Nancy]

Last year difficult child had 18 cavities. She never brushes. The dentist told her she will need crowns in a couple years, and she's only 18.

She never has and never will learn by natural consequences. Sigh.

Nancy

 

[gcvmom]

Yeesh! That's pretty bad, too, Nancy. I can't say that I'm glad I'm not the only one with something like this. It's just so stupid with something so preventable like this -- that's what drives me nuts.

 

[Nomad]

Nancy, I am so very sorry.
Our situation is VERY similar. It boggles the mind. As a parent, I wonder if I anything at all to do with this. Then, I remember all the times I tried my best with- logical consequences, with discussions, with having others speak with her, with counseling, etc. I put in 110% and I know you did as well. If I was guilty of anything, it was at times, trying too hard. I am letting go of the guilt and letting go of it FAST. There is a disconnect for our adult kids. Now, that she is an adult, it's clearly up to her to figure it all out. It is hard to watch...so I try not to watch. I am taking care of me now. I love that site Suz has at the bottom of her posts http://www.livestrong.com/article/14712-developing-detachment/http://www.livestrong.com/article/14700-self-affirmations/) it's awesome! Anyway, I totally empathize with you my friend and hope that you and your husband are doing your best to enjoy life to the fullest. Also, hope that some day, sooner rather than later, our daughter's will "get it." Amen.

 

[MICHL]

My difficult child (almost 15) does not care about brushing or showering, yet he will inspect a partially filled bottle or cup of water that he drank earlier, and if it's not still sparkly clear in it he won't drink it.... yet he often doesn't flush, wash hands, shower, etc... without being nagged to do so.... It's extremly frustrating. When he was about 8 he had a bad underbite, so the ortho fixed that... then the ortho said he need braces... I won't do that because he doesn't floss or brush well at all, so I paid the Ortho to just fix a crossbite with an expander.. that worked until the expander was taken off, then his lower jaw continued to grow forward, and now all his teeth are pretty much butting against eachother. I've already spent about $3 or 4K. total, and.... I would still pay for braces if he showed any caring about his dental hygiene. Until I see that, it's not going to happen. Also... he's got quite a bit of fat from too much junk food, and last night he said he wants me to take him to Dr. for diet pills... Yeah, right...

 

[AnnieO]

Sigh. Diet pills. Self control works better.

 

[gcvmom]

Self control? In a difficult child? What's THAT?!

 

[wakeupcall]

My difficult child has begged for braces. Even if I thought he needed them, there's NO way. I'm very lucky if he brushes his teeth once a day, so I'd not even consider spending the money on braces. Just in the last couple of weeks is he staying in the shower long enough to get all the feces off him.......oh yea, he still has severe encoprocesis. My husband tells him he lives like an animal. When do we start that detachment?????