Sold my condo :(

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by 92025, Aug 9, 2012.

  1. 92025

    92025 Member

    I really like my condo, it's a 2 story townhouse in So Cal with a back yard with a tented gazebo for bbq, french doors to a small front patio where I have coffee and read the paper, a gas fireplace, roomy kitchen with all new appliances, huge master br with walkin closet and private bath. But I am leaving town to get difficult child away from his "friends" to increase his odds of doing better after he gets out of juvie. I have until 9/19 to get out so I will be shopping hard; hope i find something else that I like as well. I really don't want to leave, I love my dr, my martial arts class, the neighbors.... But if he came back here and got right back in with the same thing and same people then I'd never forgive myself for not at least trying the change in environment for him. I REALLY hope this helps, or else I'm doing all this for nothing :p I've heard some people say it can help....But I know it's not a magic answer
     
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I'm so sorry that simply having a difficult child has made you need to give up your home. I really hope that he "gets" how much you're giving up just to give him a better chance at success.

    Pretzeling and praying you are able to find a living situation you can live with.....if not thoroughly enjoy.
     
  3. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I read a book during my difficult child's teen years that recommended getting them away from their circle of difficult child friends no matter what it took. So it sounds like you are doing just that.

    I just hope he doesn't find a new set of difficult child friends in your new location. I admire your dedication to your difficult child. Not many people would make that kind of sacrifice.

    ~Kathy
     
  4. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    It was literally impossible for me to make the choice you made. on the other hand, I will to my dying day wonder if I could have changed the environment if I could have retained my wonderful easy child. Sigh. I just could not do a change of location no matter how much I wanted to. Lordy, Lordy, I am hoping and praying that it will help your family. DDD
     
  5. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    9,
    I love your committment to your boy. I so hope it gives him a fresh start. I know that it can if he wants it to. I have often wondered if it would help ours. I believe she would attract trouble anywhere-has proved it when she had a new pool of possibility at new schools and at work. We tend to attract to us what are. He is young, I have hope. It is amazing you are so willing.
     
  6. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I read your post and I felt so bad for you, yet the love and commitment you have for your son is so strong you will do anything to give him the best chance. I admire you, you are making a huge sacrifice and yet if this works I know you will think it was the best decision ever. I really hope this helps him turn it around. It is so important for them to get away from their bad influences. Hopefully he will make some good ones to teplace those he left behind.

    Nancy
     
  7. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    My eldest had always gone to a private school well out of the neighborhood I was living in and when she was home, her life was filled with activities that did not include any of the neighborhood kids. When I had the two boys, I pulled her out and put her in the local school - big mistake :(

    She was giving me a run for my money - the day she came home and announced she was moving to El Salvador with her boyfriend, well, she found herself on a plane the next day to my mother and stayed there for 6 months until I found a place to move to-45 miles away from where we were living. It more or less did the trick and she got her act together

    But when difficult child became of age, it didn't matter we were living in a upper middle class neighborhood with no crime to speak of, and very family oriented. He managed to find like minded difficult child's and problems started. And these were boys he had known since kindergarden - there were about 8 of them, all in trouble seems like all of the time-straight thru highschool. I wasn't about to move again - where would I even move to anyway :(

    Fast forward to today, they are still all friends. No one really has been in much trouble, and they all work at the same place, in an office, at a business started by one of them. They all seem to be doing well - still a bunch of pot heads and they all drink too much but are light years away from their early teen years.

    So while the move to a different area helped the eldest difficult child, it really had no bearing on the youngest.

    Marcie
     
  8. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    I think about moving on a daily basis. I can't because I can't sell my house. It would'nt matter anyway. If mine was determined to be like he has been. He will find them even if he had to get on a bus to do it. I hope you find a place that YOU love and that he wakes up.
     
  9. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Your condo, I know you love it and everything in it, but it is just "stuff". You'll never regret the things you do to help save your child. You don't know what the future may bring- but I hope it's all good things. We're all human and just try our best. Have no regrets. There will be another home you'll love.
     
  10. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    UAN - it's so true. And it applies to more than just "stuff". In our home, it's meant blowing up careers and other "stuff"... but we didn't want to be an old couple sitting in a nursing home wondering what would have happened if we hadn't held on so tightly to what "we" wanted. So far, it's been an interesting ride, and the results are not guaranteed, but... we won't regret trying.
     
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