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Parent Emeritus
Some very sincere thanks to all of you
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 438898"><p>I haven't read all your posts re: your sister's situation with your nephew. However, since you have referenced it often, I have a good general understanding. From what I can piece together, you did your best to offer yourself both in terms of supportive advice and in terms of literally being present during very trying times. </p><p></p><p>Helping a close family member, as best as you are able, during a crisis, seems appropriate. But there are time and other limits.</p><p></p><p>Just like many of us have learned/are learning to do here, perhaps detachment is very much what you needed to do and did do with your sister. A wise move...</p><p></p><p>Sort of step away from the situation, which after all, in reality is her concern and not yours.</p><p></p><p>You can not care for her and her problems, more than you would care for your own. So, you went your way to do what you needed to do. You were not self-centered or uncaring. As near as I can tell, you offered your help, but it was time to move forward.</p><p></p><p>Perhaps in time...in the future...you might open the door to talk with your sister...have limited (if necessary) conversations with your her that are cordial and supportive. And by supportive...I mean "leand an ear." Be empathetic. But, I think you recognize that you are not going to go into that situation any further.</p><p></p><p>You are not responsible for your sister's life. You are not responsible for your nephew. </p><p></p><p>You are responsible for any young children in your home. You are responsible for your life and your marriage....</p><p></p><p>Good that your email was not a rage. Hindsight is 20/20...perhaps you are thinking you would have done certain things a little differently.</p><p></p><p>But, few...if any of us are prepared for such enormous difficulties in life. It is impossible.</p><p></p><p>Like you and my husband like to say "It is what it is....."...an expression fast becoming my fave as well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 438898"] I haven't read all your posts re: your sister's situation with your nephew. However, since you have referenced it often, I have a good general understanding. From what I can piece together, you did your best to offer yourself both in terms of supportive advice and in terms of literally being present during very trying times. Helping a close family member, as best as you are able, during a crisis, seems appropriate. But there are time and other limits. Just like many of us have learned/are learning to do here, perhaps detachment is very much what you needed to do and did do with your sister. A wise move... Sort of step away from the situation, which after all, in reality is her concern and not yours. You can not care for her and her problems, more than you would care for your own. So, you went your way to do what you needed to do. You were not self-centered or uncaring. As near as I can tell, you offered your help, but it was time to move forward. Perhaps in time...in the future...you might open the door to talk with your sister...have limited (if necessary) conversations with your her that are cordial and supportive. And by supportive...I mean "leand an ear." Be empathetic. But, I think you recognize that you are not going to go into that situation any further. You are not responsible for your sister's life. You are not responsible for your nephew. You are responsible for any young children in your home. You are responsible for your life and your marriage.... Good that your email was not a rage. Hindsight is 20/20...perhaps you are thinking you would have done certain things a little differently. But, few...if any of us are prepared for such enormous difficulties in life. It is impossible. Like you and my husband like to say "It is what it is....."...an expression fast becoming my fave as well. [/QUOTE]
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Some very sincere thanks to all of you
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