Someone give me patience for bed wetting!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by BeachPeace, Jun 29, 2011.

  1. BeachPeace

    BeachPeace Guest

    Blue is bedwetting again.
    I am so tired of wet clothes, wet sheets - sigh.
    He is too big for pull ups so he is in small Depends at bedtime. Yet - he cries and begs not to wear them and gets hysterical.
    So I agree and in to bed he goes - only to wake up angry and screaming because he is wet. So I have to wash his comforter and sheets PJS every day.
    If he puts the "nighttime underwear to keep him dry" on - he will often wake up and take them off (I have tried several brands too)

    This happens when he is stressed - it is summertime so routine is off.

    Any suggestions?

    PS -his Neurologist has offered to put him on bladder medications but I hate the idea of MORE medications bless his heart he takes enough as it is. Anyone done this?
  2. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    My son is a lot younger, but we do have bedweting issues (goes with his mood as well).
    I do cloth diapers "happy heinys" have some up to Large I believe. They are pull ups but are quite big (a lot bigger than disposable ones) and REALLY soft inside (fleece lining). The outside is 100% waterproof but not plasticky. They have tones of colors, maybe he could pick the one(s) he likes? He probably won't be able to put pj on top of them though... They are bulky (once you stuff them). But they keep the bed and my son dry. The diaper will absorb the biggest messes.
    Just an idea. He might like the novelty...
  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    The bladder medications never worked for my difficult child. We started waking difficult child up before we would go to sleep tonight. That seems to work for the most part.
  4. wintak

    wintak New Member

    DDAVP is what we tried. In the smallest amount then upped it. It didn't even slow him down. Now, I'm PRETTY sure (and I'm sure most of you will disagree) he intentionally wets the bed so that is why the DDAVP didn't work.

    We tried everything with him, put a little potty RIGHT next to the bed, waking him up, giving him whatever light he said he needed in order to make it to the bathroom, moving his room to the one closest to the bathroom. But he says it feels good on his leg cuz it's warm (that's just gross) and he doesn't FEEL like getting up. So he strips his bed every a.m. and put the sheets in the washer.

    Why do you say yours is too big for pullups? They make those night time big boy pullups (let's face it, that's what they are) I know those go up past 60 lbs...I wanna say the smalls go to 64 and the Large go to 80 something. DDAVP was supposed to concentrate the urine in his bladder so it would make it easier to make it until morning. Is that what your dr recommended?
  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    "Out on a limb" again...
    Don't be so hard on these kids - I'm going to take their side and say they really cannot help it. Some may be very sound sleepers, and just don't wake in time - but won't admit it. (been there done that) The drugs only help those whose "slow-down" message hormones don't get going at night... Others have immature bodies whose processing of fluids is uneven - or immature sensory systems, so that they don't drink enough during the day and then drink too much in the evening...
    Honestly - do you really think its fun to have this problem? I don't.

    BUT... there is something else you can try...
    For some of these kids, the problem is an intollerance to milk protein - cow milk being the worst, but other milks also cause the problem.

    How do you tell? Go 100% dairy free (the only thing allowed is BUTTER - no milk protein there) for a week.
    If you don't see any difference in a week, then this is not the problem.
    If you DO see a difference? Its... NO dairy, ever. Really hard to do (for a kid) - but it can be done. (THAT would be a whole other thread, though)
  6. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    BeachPeace, don't want to state the obvious, but have you tried waking your son up at night to go to the loo? This seems to me the necessary compromise to not wearing diapers at night... My son also doesn't wake up to urinate so wets the bed at night. Mostly we put a diaper but sometimes he objects to this as (understandably) being what a baby has... So then he has to accept that I wake him up once or even twice to go to the loo.
    The problem seems to be the not waking up to urinate. My son never has at night... If they don't have this mechanism, what can be done?
  7. lovelyboy

    lovelyboy Member

    What worked for us was a little thing, can't remember the name...that you hook on to their Jockey's and onto their shirt. The moment a drop of urine touches the monitor that is attached to the Jockey it makes a very loud noice(pinned to the shirt) works on the priciple of condisioning. I must honestly say I think the whole system conditioned me as a parent to take him to the loo between midnight and 2 o'clock to prevent the alarm going of!...And no drinks before bedtime....This worked within 3 months time.
  8. Peace Please

    Peace Please New Member

    I like the idea of letting Blue pick out what pull-ups he WOULD wear. Personally, I don't believe he wets the bed on purpose, and I can also understand his reluctance to wear a "diaper" to bed. This is not something that I'm happy to put out there, but I wet the bed until I was 16, almost every night. My parents tried everything. They took me to doctors. I even spent the night in the hospital once for a "study". They bought one of those alarms that go off when one drop of moisture is present. It would go off and wake everyone else in the house up but me, so that went away quick. LOL. They tried to get me to wear "diapers" to bed, but I refused because it was embarassing to me. Eventually, it was found that my pelvic floor muscles were very weak and I am a very deep sleeper. When I was 16, a doctor told me to exercise the muscles that I use to hold it when I'm awake a few times a day to strengthen those muscles. Just a couple weeks later, the bedwetting stopped and it's never happened again.

    I know it's frustrating that he is refusing to wear a pull-up and then getting upset when his bed clothes are wet. My parents told me that since I refused to wear one to bed, I was responsible for getting the wet sheets off my bed and remaking my bed in the middle of the night. They left a couple sets of sheets, blankets and pajamas on a bench in my room for me. Is Blue able to make his own bed? If he is and still refuses to wear a pull-up, this could keep you from being woken up in the middle of the night.
  9. Couple of things from my life -- and, yes, I didn't want to use the bladder medications, either:

    First, my difficult child wet the bed until he was 9, closer to 10. I thought it would never end and that he would graduate high school in Pull Ups. [Assuming he didn't get expelled enough times to prevent that outcome, but that's another story.] However, it did pretty much stop with only an occasional accident. He's now 10 1/2 and hasn't wet the bed in months. There is hope.

    Second, we tried Risperdal twice. difficult child slept so deeply that he was guaranteed to wet the bed at night. That was the least of my concerns at the time, but it was a factor to consider. If the drug is doing what you want, great, but if it's not, you might talk with the doctor about other options.

    Third, yes, there was a definite correlation between stress in difficult child's life and bedwetting ... which I'm sure led to more stress. Another thing to check in with the doctor about. However, in our case, time did eventually do the trick.

    Good luck. I know how aggravating all the wash can be. Saw an article on Yahoo about how to make your own laundry detergent for a savings -- probably would have done it back then!
  10. hamlet

    hamlet New Member

    This might not be what you are looking for, and in that case just skip over it. difficult child bed wets and he is 10.5 yo. I have made the bedwetting a plan c issue. In light of all the other challenges we are going through, bed wetting is
    a. too much to handle on top of the rest and b. too emotionally wrenching to have to go through every day.

    My difficult child will wear depends, but still the bed is wet 3 or 4 nights a week. He helps me to change the bed when it needs to be. I also don't use a comforter but lightweight blankets that dry fast. I bought many changes of sheets and blankets at the thrift store and a few plastic backed mattress covers so that I can skip a day of laundry, (it's gross, but they are his sheets alone.)

    My advice is to see if there's any protective garment difficult child is willing to wear and if so, use it. Either way, try to find a way to let it go. See if there is any way to make the clean up easier, and then just forget about it. Since I enacted this policy, difficult child is actually staying dry more often at night although it is still not perfect and he has a really hard time with sleep-overs.
  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    unless your son is a very large 8, they now have some very large night time disposable undies for kids in both boy and girl designs.

    If he is larger than that, I havent seen those pants the other poster talked about but you might check online for those. Also, depends is now making colored ones for women that he might like better but just dont tell him they are for women, buy them and take them out of the pack. I think they come in blue so that would work. At his age, I dont think male or female is going to make a difference.

    also, for his bed, they make a wonderful mattress pad that is fairly expensive...40 bucks...well that is what it was for a king, might be lower for a smaller size...but you can get it at a furniture store that is not plastic feeling and it will keep all liquid from reaching the mattress. It feels like terry cloth on the top and it just fits around the mattress like a mattress pad. I actually spilled an entire glass of coke on my brand new mattress and none soaked through the mattress pad. Amazed me. I havent even had that much luck with a plastic cover. Plus plastic just crinkles under you.

    You may also just want to consider getting him a cheap single bed mattress for now. Do all you can to keep it covered and clean but know that this is going to be a problem for awhile. Help him learn to pull the wet stuff on and put a dry comforter under him and a dry blanket over him and clean jammies on. That should get him through the night without waking everyone.
  12. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Travis wet the bed until he was almost 13.

    It nearly drove me insane until via docs we realized beyond a doubt it was physical and there wasn't much he could do about it. (brain damage related) Even while potty training him he never got the urge to go like other kids. He never knew his bladder was full until his pants got slightly wet and then it was an all out run for the bathroom every time. During the night he slept so deeply that even that did not wake him.

    Knowing it was a physical issue did help. But it still was hard. I cut off drinking liquid past 6pm. I got him up at midnight every night to use the bathroom. This helped a lot, but still most of the tine I had to get him up before his sisters so he could bathe while I stripped down and washed his bed. It got to be sort of a routine. I never said anything to him.......and honestly, I think he appreciated that. At around age 11 I noticed it wasn't happening as often, by 13 he'd finally outgrown the issue.

    His sisters only found out it had gone on so long fairly recently. Our routine was down so good we had him bathed, sheets changed and in the washer before they even got out of bed, so they never knew.

    But back then they didn't have much to cope with it.

  13. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Haven't read the other posts, but here's what we experienced.

    My easy child was dry at night from age 4 to age 6 and then she started wetting again (LOTS of stress in our family when she was 6). Didn't matter if I limited fluids at night. Didn't matter if I got her up at midnight. We tried DDAVP and nothing happened. We tried a low-dose antidepressant because that worked for my difficult child 1 when he was around the same age, but it did not help her. She finally stopped when she was 10 and started her period. I know that's not something that will happen for your Blue, LOL, but I think it's just a matter of maturity for some kids. She was NOT doing this on purpose, and she missed out on some slumber parties because she did not want kids to know she wore pullups (they make them for kids up to 80+ pounds if I remember right). Towards the end, she opted to just wear her panties and dealt with waking up wet on her own. I refused to change the sheets for her.

    A caution about using DDAVP: while it helps some people, for others who may have mental health issues, especially anxiety issues, it can make them AGGRESSIVE. My pediatrician poo-poohed it, even though the aggression went away after we stopped the medication, but my pharmacist confirmed that in some rare instances it could be activating. Well, we have consistently proven ourselves to be a "special" family and if there's a rare adverse reaction, we'll probably develop it. So my advice is to just be aware if you decide to try it.

    As I mentioned before, we ended up using a low-dose antidepressant for my difficult child 1 because he didn't tolerate DDAVP very well. The AD worked VERY well for him (it was a tricyclic) and within a few months he was waking up dry (this was around 4th grade). We kept him on it about 6 mos total.

    Above all, we have to be patient with these kids who are wired differently when it comes to these developmental issues. They are more often than not on an atypical maturation schedule, so suspended or lowered expectations are usually best, I've found. Most of them get where they are supposed to be, eventually, they just tend to follow a different route.
  14. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    wm had this issue until he was 10 or 11. We tried all of the above. When all was said & done he seemed to outgrow this problem. While I knew wm couldn't control this issue it was up to him to either wear a pull up/depends. If he choose not to do so he was in charge of bringing his sheets down to the laundry & remaking his bed.

    I let wm know it wasn't a consequence for something he couldn't control ~ rather a reality of his life.