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sometimes just want to scream
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<blockquote data-quote="helpangel" data-source="post: 606588" data-attributes="member: 7170"><p>Thank you recovering enabler you seem to always know what I need to hear not just what I want to hear. I was right there with you until you said "until you are old" I AM OLD, too old to have myself this tangled up in my kids lives, too old to not have my own life. The last line of your post brought me to tears (and I rarely cry unless angry) until I read that - the idea I was even allowed a life outside these kids had never occurred to me. </p><p></p><p>Stay or go it makes no matter with these kids what I want is for them to grow into independent functioning adults, if that happens and they are comfortable here I would be more then happy to be the one to move on. If I keep solving their problems and doing everything for them that is not going to happen though.</p><p></p><p>Yes there are side jobs & friends outside the kids but its just a job for money to support the family not a career that I would enjoy doing long term and friends seem to have kids & kids become a big part of what we talk about. I came here yesterday so I could throw a tantrum because my feelings were hurt because I asked for help when struggling (asking for help is very hard for me) and instead of help got more frustrated then I was before.</p><p></p><p>Yes if son is going to stay he needs to kick in his fair share, but this isn't about him it's about me. Not sure when it happened but I'm stuck - I have no life outside this house and it's time I took a look at what I want to do with the rest of my life. Not sure if going back to school or just make a point of meeting some new people but as long as I do nothing to change this nothing is going to change. I'm old enough now to participate in those cool activities at the senior center and to many of them I'm just a kid.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="helpangel, post: 606588, member: 7170"] Thank you recovering enabler you seem to always know what I need to hear not just what I want to hear. I was right there with you until you said "until you are old" I AM OLD, too old to have myself this tangled up in my kids lives, too old to not have my own life. The last line of your post brought me to tears (and I rarely cry unless angry) until I read that - the idea I was even allowed a life outside these kids had never occurred to me. Stay or go it makes no matter with these kids what I want is for them to grow into independent functioning adults, if that happens and they are comfortable here I would be more then happy to be the one to move on. If I keep solving their problems and doing everything for them that is not going to happen though. Yes there are side jobs & friends outside the kids but its just a job for money to support the family not a career that I would enjoy doing long term and friends seem to have kids & kids become a big part of what we talk about. I came here yesterday so I could throw a tantrum because my feelings were hurt because I asked for help when struggling (asking for help is very hard for me) and instead of help got more frustrated then I was before. Yes if son is going to stay he needs to kick in his fair share, but this isn't about him it's about me. Not sure when it happened but I'm stuck - I have no life outside this house and it's time I took a look at what I want to do with the rest of my life. Not sure if going back to school or just make a point of meeting some new people but as long as I do nothing to change this nothing is going to change. I'm old enough now to participate in those cool activities at the senior center and to many of them I'm just a kid. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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