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Son, 19, arrested 2 nights ago--I'm just learning of pot issues
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<blockquote data-quote="mrsammler" data-source="post: 440083"><p>Your son is EXACTLY me at about 18, after/during my first year of college: a perfect "nice boy" in high school who made great grades, was a top varsity athlete (tennis), and who had never taken an illegal drug, other than the standard (at that time--late 70s) jock beer-drinking with friends on weekend nights in my junior and senior years of high school. Then, once away at college, I fell in with the varsity tennis team crowd, joined the tennis player frat, and started smoking pot. This led quickly to acid (i.e., LSD) and I was off to the races. Was never arrested for any of this, and remained a "nice" kid--never mean or defiant or in trouble with the law--but my grades slid down the tubes, I lost a big & prestigious academic scholarship, and had to drop out of college as a result at 19. I continued to be a druggy partier for a year while living at home with my parents in my home town, until my father threw me out of the house for being an incorrigible partier and loser (again, never mean or defiant or criminal in any troubling way other than buying and smoking weed). Having nowhere else to turn, I enlisted in the army that completely "fixed" me and built a stable platform for me to mature and rebuild my life. Upon completing my enlistment (honorable discharge with 3 medals along the way for achievements in my work as a personnel administrator), I returned to the same college but this time was very highly productive: married now (had my first child during college years), on full academic scholarship again, with almost straight As and departmental honors.</p><p></p><p>Upshot: it really does get better, but you've got to put the squeeze on the kid--i.e., grow up and fly right or you're out on the street. Most fundamentally decent kids will eventually "get it" and clean up their acts, given such pressure. You don't have to drive him into the military--I know that my path is not the path for everyone--but you do need to apply some stern pressure and thus force him to "fly right" or face great discomfort. He sounds like a basically good kid who's fallen in with bad company and bad habits--he should be OK if you press him to grow up rather than letting him just skate along blithely. Good luck and Godspeed.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mrsammler, post: 440083"] Your son is EXACTLY me at about 18, after/during my first year of college: a perfect "nice boy" in high school who made great grades, was a top varsity athlete (tennis), and who had never taken an illegal drug, other than the standard (at that time--late 70s) jock beer-drinking with friends on weekend nights in my junior and senior years of high school. Then, once away at college, I fell in with the varsity tennis team crowd, joined the tennis player frat, and started smoking pot. This led quickly to acid (i.e., LSD) and I was off to the races. Was never arrested for any of this, and remained a "nice" kid--never mean or defiant or in trouble with the law--but my grades slid down the tubes, I lost a big & prestigious academic scholarship, and had to drop out of college as a result at 19. I continued to be a druggy partier for a year while living at home with my parents in my home town, until my father threw me out of the house for being an incorrigible partier and loser (again, never mean or defiant or criminal in any troubling way other than buying and smoking weed). Having nowhere else to turn, I enlisted in the army that completely "fixed" me and built a stable platform for me to mature and rebuild my life. Upon completing my enlistment (honorable discharge with 3 medals along the way for achievements in my work as a personnel administrator), I returned to the same college but this time was very highly productive: married now (had my first child during college years), on full academic scholarship again, with almost straight As and departmental honors. Upshot: it really does get better, but you've got to put the squeeze on the kid--i.e., grow up and fly right or you're out on the street. Most fundamentally decent kids will eventually "get it" and clean up their acts, given such pressure. You don't have to drive him into the military--I know that my path is not the path for everyone--but you do need to apply some stern pressure and thus force him to "fly right" or face great discomfort. He sounds like a basically good kid who's fallen in with bad company and bad habits--he should be OK if you press him to grow up rather than letting him just skate along blithely. Good luck and Godspeed. [/QUOTE]
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Son, 19, arrested 2 nights ago--I'm just learning of pot issues
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