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Son, 19, arrested 2 nights ago--I'm just learning of pot issues
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<blockquote data-quote="HereWeGoAgain" data-source="post: 440146" data-attributes="member: 3485"><p>I haven't read other replies yet but I will just give my opinion. I think your son is probably not what we call a difficult child here - that is, our kid or kids with serious issues that brought us here to the forum - or at least not a "full-blown" difficult child.</p><p></p><p>That's not to say that he is not having some pretty serious things going on with the pot and drinking. This is very common with kids getting out of the home and feeling their independence for the first time, especially if the university you mention is a "party school". I think time off from college and a job is a very good idea. He will be able to pass a drug test again in 4 to 6 weeks if he quits smoking. </p><p></p><p>I fully understand your concerns, but in my opinion things have not progressed too far for him to turn it around - he may just need to settle down and gain some maturity. Having parents as obviously concerned and engaged and working together even though divorced is a big plus. So it bears watching, and firm set of expectations and boundaries, but he sounds like the sort of kid who will outgrow this.</p><p></p><p>(By the way, I don't get "unintentional plagiarism" either. It's an oxymoron: plagiarism is intentional, by definition. I'd be very interested in how they came up with that.)</p><p></p><p>Added in edit: OK, I read the other replies and want to reiterate both MrSam and HoundDog: don't brook any misbehavior, and let natural consequences come - the single worst thing you can do is try to get him off or fix things, it only encourages further irresponsibility. But I see you're already savvy (as Johnny Depp might say) so - best of luck, hope he pulls his head out soon (I bet he does).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HereWeGoAgain, post: 440146, member: 3485"] I haven't read other replies yet but I will just give my opinion. I think your son is probably not what we call a difficult child here - that is, our kid or kids with serious issues that brought us here to the forum - or at least not a "full-blown" difficult child. That's not to say that he is not having some pretty serious things going on with the pot and drinking. This is very common with kids getting out of the home and feeling their independence for the first time, especially if the university you mention is a "party school". I think time off from college and a job is a very good idea. He will be able to pass a drug test again in 4 to 6 weeks if he quits smoking. I fully understand your concerns, but in my opinion things have not progressed too far for him to turn it around - he may just need to settle down and gain some maturity. Having parents as obviously concerned and engaged and working together even though divorced is a big plus. So it bears watching, and firm set of expectations and boundaries, but he sounds like the sort of kid who will outgrow this. (By the way, I don't get "unintentional plagiarism" either. It's an oxymoron: plagiarism is intentional, by definition. I'd be very interested in how they came up with that.) Added in edit: OK, I read the other replies and want to reiterate both MrSam and HoundDog: don't brook any misbehavior, and let natural consequences come - the single worst thing you can do is try to get him off or fix things, it only encourages further irresponsibility. But I see you're already savvy (as Johnny Depp might say) so - best of luck, hope he pulls his head out soon (I bet he does). [/QUOTE]
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Son, 19, arrested 2 nights ago--I'm just learning of pot issues
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