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Son, 19, arrested 2 nights ago--I'm just learning of pot issues
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 442297" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>I don't know what state you live in - but there used to be on Hwy. I-77 North bound in Virgina a totaled car wreck that had a sign next to it that said "A drunk driver took this family of four" and it was a mangled heap setting off on the side of interstate median. I guess things stick with you because for as many times as I've driving up and down I-77 and had seen that car over my years? It's image haunted me. </p><p></p><p>Recently I went through truck driving school to get my CDL. There were some younger students in the class and some my age - and some older. The younger guys weren't taking the safety aspect of learning our pre-trip serious one day. Then asked why I was so serious. Maybe it was the fact that I was raised that driving IS a privledge, or that I think when I get behind the wheel it's not just MY life and safety but YOURS, YOUR family and YOUR family and YOUR family that I'm taking into my hands that made me give my speech that day. But by the time I was done talking about 80,000 lbs, 18 wheels and what could happen because YOU weren't responsible and why I am not going to buy my son a car, or be the reason he dies or kills someone? And why I am so glad I had nothing to do with our middle sons auto accident and death? - Everyone passed that class with near perfect scores and took it very seriously. </p><p></p><p>The responsibility for these things feelinghelpless? Driving, trouble he creates, problems created by NOT obeying, ARE HIS RESPONSIBILITY. The things that are now YOUR responsibility? Learning to detach, Learning to tough love, Learning to enjoy YOUR life separate from his and show him that THERE ARE TWO complete and separate lives - where in YOU have paid your dues, and lived YOUR life and NOW get to ENJOY the fruits of YOUR labors, and HE must learn to do the right things, and OBEY the rules of men, and LISTEN and learn and use the things that YOU taught him ALL HIS LIFE - and if he CHOOSES NOT to? THINGS WILL HAPPEN that YOU have NO CONTROL over - NONE, NADA, ZIP. YOU are separate from those things. these are things HE created and THESE are things HE must suffer the consequences from. Can you support him when he's on the road to redemption? Yup. if he's sincere, and needs a pat on the back, an emotional uplift, or an attaboy? - but other than that? Nope. </p><p></p><p>The best things we can give our children are roots and wings - It's written on my hallway to remind me that I've given them all the right things - and it's time to let go. I raised them up the way they should go - if they departed from it? It's got to be between them and God - not ME and them. My part is done. THAT was the hardest thing for me to realize and STOP interfering in THEIR life. Everyone gets brought to their knees in different ways I guess. But if I keep throwing a pillow down to cushion the fall? How is anyone ever going to know what it's like to really hit their knees? Because while I'm hitting mine for him? No one is throwing a pillow under mine. </p><p></p><p>Just a bit of sage advice from a Mom with worn out knees and no more throw pillows. </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 442297, member: 4964"] I don't know what state you live in - but there used to be on Hwy. I-77 North bound in Virgina a totaled car wreck that had a sign next to it that said "A drunk driver took this family of four" and it was a mangled heap setting off on the side of interstate median. I guess things stick with you because for as many times as I've driving up and down I-77 and had seen that car over my years? It's image haunted me. Recently I went through truck driving school to get my CDL. There were some younger students in the class and some my age - and some older. The younger guys weren't taking the safety aspect of learning our pre-trip serious one day. Then asked why I was so serious. Maybe it was the fact that I was raised that driving IS a privledge, or that I think when I get behind the wheel it's not just MY life and safety but YOURS, YOUR family and YOUR family and YOUR family that I'm taking into my hands that made me give my speech that day. But by the time I was done talking about 80,000 lbs, 18 wheels and what could happen because YOU weren't responsible and why I am not going to buy my son a car, or be the reason he dies or kills someone? And why I am so glad I had nothing to do with our middle sons auto accident and death? - Everyone passed that class with near perfect scores and took it very seriously. The responsibility for these things feelinghelpless? Driving, trouble he creates, problems created by NOT obeying, ARE HIS RESPONSIBILITY. The things that are now YOUR responsibility? Learning to detach, Learning to tough love, Learning to enjoy YOUR life separate from his and show him that THERE ARE TWO complete and separate lives - where in YOU have paid your dues, and lived YOUR life and NOW get to ENJOY the fruits of YOUR labors, and HE must learn to do the right things, and OBEY the rules of men, and LISTEN and learn and use the things that YOU taught him ALL HIS LIFE - and if he CHOOSES NOT to? THINGS WILL HAPPEN that YOU have NO CONTROL over - NONE, NADA, ZIP. YOU are separate from those things. these are things HE created and THESE are things HE must suffer the consequences from. Can you support him when he's on the road to redemption? Yup. if he's sincere, and needs a pat on the back, an emotional uplift, or an attaboy? - but other than that? Nope. The best things we can give our children are roots and wings - It's written on my hallway to remind me that I've given them all the right things - and it's time to let go. I raised them up the way they should go - if they departed from it? It's got to be between them and God - not ME and them. My part is done. THAT was the hardest thing for me to realize and STOP interfering in THEIR life. Everyone gets brought to their knees in different ways I guess. But if I keep throwing a pillow down to cushion the fall? How is anyone ever going to know what it's like to really hit their knees? Because while I'm hitting mine for him? No one is throwing a pillow under mine. Just a bit of sage advice from a Mom with worn out knees and no more throw pillows. Hugs [/QUOTE]
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Son, 19, arrested 2 nights ago--I'm just learning of pot issues
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