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Substance Abuse
Son arrested for possession of pot
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<blockquote data-quote="Calamity Jane" data-source="post: 557355" data-attributes="member: 13882"><p>Hi and welcome,</p><p>Ugh, I sure feel for you, and I'm sorry for the pain you're going through. Your son is scholastically bright, but he's partying way too much, and taking full advantage of your generosity, and the generosity of his Dad and Grandmother. He's having parties in the subsidized-by-Grandma apt. He is not working. He says his grades are good, but I'd be doubtful till I saw the grades and attendance in black and white. Substance abuse by definition makes liars out of its victims.</p><p></p><p>He's fallen into the life is a party culture that is common in college environments, but breaking and entering and DWI are no joke. He's seriously on the wrong path. I wouldn't pay for his court fines - let him get a job, let him EARN something. He is a <u>man</u> in the eyes of the law - that is important for him to know, so my advice is - FWIW - let him take the consequences. Perhaps the judge will put the fear of God in him. As you have said, all your help isn't helping him any - it's just making you feel better. But if you really think about it, does it feel better to be duped and swindled?</p><p>You didn't indicate that your son has a history of any anxiety, mental issues, etc., so I'm assuming he doesn't. The divorce may have had an impact on him - has he had counseling to deal with it at all? This kind of behavior doesn't happen in a vacuum, so getting to the bottom of it is important. Your son has to want to figure this out, as painful as it is. Don't feel guilty - you have done everything possible to support him, and he's let himself and you down. He has to be accountable for his own actions, starting now.</p><p>I'd suggest you find a welcoming support group for parents in your area that you can attend for strength and counsel, and also continue posting here. Again, I'm sorry for your trouble.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Calamity Jane, post: 557355, member: 13882"] Hi and welcome, Ugh, I sure feel for you, and I'm sorry for the pain you're going through. Your son is scholastically bright, but he's partying way too much, and taking full advantage of your generosity, and the generosity of his Dad and Grandmother. He's having parties in the subsidized-by-Grandma apt. He is not working. He says his grades are good, but I'd be doubtful till I saw the grades and attendance in black and white. Substance abuse by definition makes liars out of its victims. He's fallen into the life is a party culture that is common in college environments, but breaking and entering and DWI are no joke. He's seriously on the wrong path. I wouldn't pay for his court fines - let him get a job, let him EARN something. He is a [U]man[/U] in the eyes of the law - that is important for him to know, so my advice is - FWIW - let him take the consequences. Perhaps the judge will put the fear of God in him. As you have said, all your help isn't helping him any - it's just making you feel better. But if you really think about it, does it feel better to be duped and swindled? You didn't indicate that your son has a history of any anxiety, mental issues, etc., so I'm assuming he doesn't. The divorce may have had an impact on him - has he had counseling to deal with it at all? This kind of behavior doesn't happen in a vacuum, so getting to the bottom of it is important. Your son has to want to figure this out, as painful as it is. Don't feel guilty - you have done everything possible to support him, and he's let himself and you down. He has to be accountable for his own actions, starting now. I'd suggest you find a welcoming support group for parents in your area that you can attend for strength and counsel, and also continue posting here. Again, I'm sorry for your trouble. [/QUOTE]
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Son arrested for possession of pot
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