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General Parenting
son is scared of me
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 437407" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I odn't think he is truly afraid of you, not in any long term sense. But it is a good warning to work on not losing your temper. I had a lot of trouble with my temper wehn the kids were younger. I always felt that it was important to teach my kids manners and to behave well because I was afraid that if they were really rude I would lose it and beat them. I insisted on a lot of manners rules that many people said were too strict simply because I was afraid I would abuse them if they were not what I felt was reasonably polite. Now this isn't to say they had to do the kinds of manners from Sound of Music or anything. I tended to emphasize manners of the kinds that were emphasized in Barney. But many people told me that expecting my 2yo to say please and thank you and may I please was way out of line and even that it was abusive to not give them a glass of water until they said please. I mostly ignored that.</p><p></p><p>But I still had some problems with my temper. At some point I found a book called "Mom's Gonna Blow" and it helped me learn to identify the physical signs that I was getting angry before I lost my temper and exploded. It made a really big difference and I almost never raise my voice in anger any more. I am better at taking time outs.. The author was Julie Barnhill if you are interested in the book. It has a Christian leaning, but if you aren't christian you can ignore those parts and still find it helpful.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 437407, member: 1233"] I odn't think he is truly afraid of you, not in any long term sense. But it is a good warning to work on not losing your temper. I had a lot of trouble with my temper wehn the kids were younger. I always felt that it was important to teach my kids manners and to behave well because I was afraid that if they were really rude I would lose it and beat them. I insisted on a lot of manners rules that many people said were too strict simply because I was afraid I would abuse them if they were not what I felt was reasonably polite. Now this isn't to say they had to do the kinds of manners from Sound of Music or anything. I tended to emphasize manners of the kinds that were emphasized in Barney. But many people told me that expecting my 2yo to say please and thank you and may I please was way out of line and even that it was abusive to not give them a glass of water until they said please. I mostly ignored that. But I still had some problems with my temper. At some point I found a book called "Mom's Gonna Blow" and it helped me learn to identify the physical signs that I was getting angry before I lost my temper and exploded. It made a really big difference and I almost never raise my voice in anger any more. I am better at taking time outs.. The author was Julie Barnhill if you are interested in the book. It has a Christian leaning, but if you aren't christian you can ignore those parts and still find it helpful. [/QUOTE]
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