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General Parenting
Son is totally out of control
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<blockquote data-quote="lovelyboy" data-source="post: 481118" data-attributes="member: 8045"><p>Ok if it's a houserule, I get it! But I think maybe I know to little of the exact surcomstances? Like I don't know WHY he didn't answer you? Was he occupied in something that caused him not to hear you or was he trying to annoy you? My son does this when he is in the bath...I explained to him how worried I get when he doesn't answer me and that I care about his safety...this helped.</p><p>I think it DOES matter if he is autistic.....I do agree that being autistic isn't any excuse for not being obedient....he still needs to learn that his behaviour has consequences, BUT the way you implement these consequences might differ, because autistic kids "don't always get it"! I don't know if your son also has the terrible anxiety that mine has that often comes with being on the spectrum....but if he does, I wouldn't "lock him up"...this will lead to a meltdown....and NO he won't be able to stop the behaviour....it's not totally possible to just stop a meltdown. I will still not lie to him, because this would have broken a BIG rule in our house and for ASPIES....braking rules and then expecting them to follow it is VERY confusing.....</p><p>Regarding the things he said about hurting you...when my son is owerwhelmed he also say things like I will cut your head of....but I came to realize that this is his limmited way of expressing his anger into words.....So we are working on 'new words' to use instead of this unexceptable ones......</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovelyboy, post: 481118, member: 8045"] Ok if it's a houserule, I get it! But I think maybe I know to little of the exact surcomstances? Like I don't know WHY he didn't answer you? Was he occupied in something that caused him not to hear you or was he trying to annoy you? My son does this when he is in the bath...I explained to him how worried I get when he doesn't answer me and that I care about his safety...this helped. I think it DOES matter if he is autistic.....I do agree that being autistic isn't any excuse for not being obedient....he still needs to learn that his behaviour has consequences, BUT the way you implement these consequences might differ, because autistic kids "don't always get it"! I don't know if your son also has the terrible anxiety that mine has that often comes with being on the spectrum....but if he does, I wouldn't "lock him up"...this will lead to a meltdown....and NO he won't be able to stop the behaviour....it's not totally possible to just stop a meltdown. I will still not lie to him, because this would have broken a BIG rule in our house and for ASPIES....braking rules and then expecting them to follow it is VERY confusing..... Regarding the things he said about hurting you...when my son is owerwhelmed he also say things like I will cut your head of....but I came to realize that this is his limmited way of expressing his anger into words.....So we are working on 'new words' to use instead of this unexceptable ones...... [/QUOTE]
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