Sonic moving to apartment, Julie ready to give birth...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by MidwestMom, Jun 24, 2014.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    First of all, Sonic found a small apartment he likes in a nice building. The apartment's lady who runs the building lives there too and is kind, caring and loved Sonic as soon as she met him. We can put her down in Sonic's cell phone as an emergency contact. There is also a worker from his place of employment who lives there and he knows him. We will only live four minutes away (I timed it) once we move in August. The only reason we did not pick the same apartment complex is that ours allows pets and his doesn't and he doesn't care for noise so pets was out for him. I am so nervous. He is so excited. I get to therapeutically thumb my nose at all those early psychologists who said he would never be independent at all and would need to live in a group home when he is an adult. Not only will he have his own place that he pays for out his wages and social security, but HE HAS A REAL LIFE PART-TIME JOB! The things he needs help with are mostly that he is very vulnerable and easy to victimize and would need an outsider in an emergency to help direct him if his brain froze and he couldn't think due to stress. He will have a list of people on his refrigerator. He is very high functioning and the apartment building has a reputation as quiet, mostly older folks, no police visits because of rowdy young kids, etc. Yet I'm going to cry when I leave that first time. I know I am. I'll still be driving him to work when I go to work, taking him shopping, talking to him every day I'm sure. Oh, my!!!! It happened so fast.

    Julie is due July 6th, meaning at any time. As soon as I hear she has gone to the hospital, I am jumping in my van and driving to Chicago to see the baby. Then I come home right away and wait until Geoff goes back to work after a three week leave from work and I will stay there for a little while to help my daughter and get to know Kaili (her name is Kylie, but this is how my creative, eccentric daughter wants to spell I think it looks like Kaylee, but who cares?????

    Jumper is having a big graduation party. One of her best friends and her kind single father have an inground pool and offered her her house for her party. That works for me. It is much bigger with more to do than our rental house. Jumper is inviting the entire world, it seems. This is a big kindness as a rental hall would have cost us a lot that we don't have and all of her friends love going to this house. Now we are just springing for food and drinks and paying the father, who won't want to take any money, for use of his house. But we are going to insist he take SOMETHING.

    We move Aug. 4th. We have to drive Jumper to college on August 6th. That is her first volleyball practice. She'll get to know some of the girls before school starts. It's good for her, socks for me. I know I'll cry and cry and cry.

    I have been fighting my normal on again/off again depression. Yesterday I decided to get rid of the depression and did an exhausting two hour workout at the gym. When I got home, I look like I'd been caught in the rain and had to shower for a long time before I felt I smelled But it didn't lift the mild depression that has been dogging me.

    I am not dealing with all of this well. It is going by too fast. It is happening in a whirlpool. Husband does not understand why I am so emotional. He is such a laid back guy. Nothing gets to him.

    On top of that, 36 has another one of his crises. He let a girl move in who is very nice but mentally ill and not always stable and he wants to talk to me about it nonstop. He doesn't know what to do. Well, I don't know what he should do either!!! I told him I'd be very busy until Sept. a nd it's hit or miss if he can reach me by phone. And you know what? I wasn't just making excuses. It's true!!!!

    I hope I can get used to all these changes. Any suggestions are appreciated. But this was mostly a vent. I'm grateful I have a place to vent.
  2. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    So many times, abundant blessings come with abundant change. It's a whole mix of emotions. Jumper, Sonic & Julie have done so well, you should burst with pride! I'm so happy for you and for them - enjoy!
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  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    The news about Sonic is fantastic!! It sounds like Jumper is very excited about her graduation party! How exciting that new grandbaby will arrive soon! It's too bad about 36 being in another crisis.

    I'm sorry all of the changes seem to be happening so fast. I think it is normal to have a hard time dealing with so many changes at once (even when they are good changes). I would try to keep up with the exercise because if you keep up it could help with some of the depression.
  4. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Life is moving as it is intended to move. It is a tribute to your parenting. KUDOS mom.
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    A baby girl...what fun!

    You said you dont know how to knit or crochet but this would be the perfect time to learn how to do something very simple with crocheting. I dont know how to read a pattern but I can follow along on YouTube and make some darned cute things. I think doing that would help take your mind off of some of the other things going on. As you see little booties piling up and a blanket or two and maybe even a little sweater...well I think you will just be thrilled with yourself!
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  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Thanks all. I know I should be happy, but I'm mildly depressed. Not sure why, but I do have a mood disorder. So maybe it's just a cycle down. I hope so. I am trying hard to be happy about all this.

    Janet, I have two left hands and I have tried to knit and crochet only to give up :)
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I couldnt knit if someone paid me. I am completely self taught on the crocheting and I do it in spells. Its much easier to crochet things for babies. Youtube makes it so much easier because you can just pause the video while you catch up.
  8. helpangel

    helpangel Active Member

    MWM I apologize trying to catch up on what I missed last week, I totally understand I would be the same way... it's just too many transitions all hitting at the same time.

    If no one else I get it, but do yourself justice and take one moment to pat yourself on the back. (PAUSE - do it I'll wait)

    Wow Sonic under his own roof, that he worked and helped contribute to; this is major... I can only hope to be this blessed someday with either of my girls.

    A grandbaby what a truly gift from God and not at all in a difficult child type way, I have to be careful what I wish for because when I tell my son "get a life, find a wife I want grandbabies" he responds with "NO KIDS!" the girls well... Angel would have to go off medications so would deliver in jail or prison, and youngest... love the youngest but she just isn't mommy material.

    Last but not least Jumper is graduating, do you know how bad they have graduation requirements these days? It's not just do your time anymore they want more now then an associates college degree back in our day for just high school that is big! Add to that college bound.

    Seriously take a minute and think about... yes it's a lot of changes but they are ALL GOOD!!! God don't give you more then you can handle (though at times proves to us we are stronger then we ever knew) but you can handle this because you are a survivor. I've never met you and know this with all my heart from what you've posted on this forum. You will make it thru this and have so much to look forward to.

    Anytime you want you are one of the handful of people on the worldwide web, I'll make a (guessing it would be 4 hour) but 15 hour road trip to sit down and get to talk face to face for hours with you.

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  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Thanks all. Really appreciate the good wishes.

    Sonic is just a great young man. Hard to explain about him other than to say everyone who meets him loves him and he overachieves constantly. I will miss him living with us, but he will be IN HIS OWN MAN so close to us and he has a team set up to keep an eye on his well being and I will too of course. I would love to revisit the dorky psychologist we saw when Sonic was four who smugly said, "I see THESE kids all the time and there is nothing you can do for THESE kids." I really think all the psychologists thought that about him. Must be fetal alcohol (he's not). Must never be able to become independent. He's a lot more independent than many kids without his disability and he is a lot happier than most people and I am just so proud of him. But I'm still Mom and I will miss him, knowing he is just upstairs and all I need to do is call for him to see him. Oh, well. Our kids have to grow up. THat's what not enabling our difficult children is all about, right?

    Jumper is so busy I rarely see her so in a sad way I am ready to hug her and let her fly. She has been nothing but a joy to hub and I and I have to say my two youngest kids, who lived in a toatlly intact family, with lots of stability and love turned out to be the nicest people. Coincidence? Probably. They DID have the trauma of Psychokid.

    As for Kaili, my grandbaby, every time Julie calls me I think it's that she had the baby early. I literally jump a mile. I can't wait to see her. She is going to be mixed race...Asian and caucasian...I think those children are usually exotic and beautiful and both Julie and her SO are attractive. I already bought her a baby doll appropriate for newborn-up that is Asian, two baby mats, tons of clothes, a stroller, and many other items.

    Now while all this is going on (and Tom is moving Sonic today and we are on a break), 36 calls. Nonstop. To discuss his love life. Seriously, he does seem to understand I am not only busy with t he other kids, but Tom and I are also moving soon and we are packing at record I work. Instead of calling me twenty times in a row, which sends Tom's and Jumper's blood pressure skyrocketing (and mine too), he has only called, say, three times in a row. I only answer when I am able and in the mood to discuss something he should be talking about with a friend that he doesn't have. He is childlike and wants ME to help him decide whether to boot the honey or not. When I tell him it's his decision, I can tell him forcing himself not to yell at me so that I will not hang up.

    What 36 year old still checks in with Mom after his lovelife? I am so nervous and stressed and depressed and happy and then sad again all at once that I have not been giving Mr. 36 that much time. With a packed suitcase for Chicago in our room plus packed boxes for our dodwnscale plus shopping for little stuff Sonic will lneed but doesn't think about...I'm really not up to this.

    All I need now is for Sis to (she won't.)

    Anyhow, thank you for undersatnding. I have never had so many things going on in my family (which I consider just the six of us) at one time. And although they are all positive, except for 36's lovelife, I don't always feel happy about the two youngest flying the coupe. Often I cry to myself because I'll miss them both so very much and this is the beginning of both of their adulthoods. It will never be quite the same again.
  10. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Awwwwwwww you are a good mommy and you are going to find a new life for you and hub. How exciting.
  11. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Pasajes4, thank you so very much :)

    I hope we do find a new life and I'm not so sure I was a good mom, but I sure gave it my best :)