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General Parenting
Sorry, Me Again - Advice on This Please?
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<blockquote data-quote="gcvmom" data-source="post: 513240" data-attributes="member: 3444"><p>I think Step put it very well. </p><p></p><p>You have rules.</p><p>She broke the rule.</p><p>Here's your consequence.</p><p></p><p>It removes all the emotion from the situation.</p><p></p><p>I think you handled the exchange with her perfectly.</p><p></p><p>If she threatens to leave, she's trying to hurt you. When difficult child 1 used to say this, I would tell him that I'd have to call the police because he'd be considered a runaway (he was about the same age). He'd try to suck me into an argument by accusing me of hating him because I'd call the police and have him arrested. I'd reply by saying no, I'd be very worried about where you are, but that since I wouldn't be able to keep you safe when you're climbing out your window and running away barefoot in the pouring rain in the middle of the night, that's what the police are there for. Sometimes that got through to him. Sometimes he'd just go slam some more doors and throw some things and maybe carve another hole in his wall or slash the window screen. But you know what? Every time my husband got involved and tried a power play with him, whether it was a verbal shouting match with threats to do X, Y, or Z to him, or an attempt to physically restrain him, things got ugly very fast. Major escalation. I finally had to spell it out for husband that he could NOT engage difficult child 1 when he was in that kind of state. It would only end badly. If he wasn't up to keeping his cool and remaining unemotional about the situation, then he'd better just keep away.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gcvmom, post: 513240, member: 3444"] I think Step put it very well. You have rules. She broke the rule. Here's your consequence. It removes all the emotion from the situation. I think you handled the exchange with her perfectly. If she threatens to leave, she's trying to hurt you. When difficult child 1 used to say this, I would tell him that I'd have to call the police because he'd be considered a runaway (he was about the same age). He'd try to suck me into an argument by accusing me of hating him because I'd call the police and have him arrested. I'd reply by saying no, I'd be very worried about where you are, but that since I wouldn't be able to keep you safe when you're climbing out your window and running away barefoot in the pouring rain in the middle of the night, that's what the police are there for. Sometimes that got through to him. Sometimes he'd just go slam some more doors and throw some things and maybe carve another hole in his wall or slash the window screen. But you know what? Every time my husband got involved and tried a power play with him, whether it was a verbal shouting match with threats to do X, Y, or Z to him, or an attempt to physically restrain him, things got ugly very fast. Major escalation. I finally had to spell it out for husband that he could NOT engage difficult child 1 when he was in that kind of state. It would only end badly. If he wasn't up to keeping his cool and remaining unemotional about the situation, then he'd better just keep away. [/QUOTE]
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Sorry, Me Again - Advice on This Please?
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