OK -today difficult child is no longer acting depressed - she is ANGRY! ranting and raving in her room again...
I guess the gist of it is that she wants a way to earn her instruments back WITHOUT meeting my requirement of knowing where she is and who she is with at all times.
I very calmly talked to her about it, acknowledged her emotions and tried to listen very carefully to the words she was using - then I would repeat it back to her to make sure I understood what she was saying.
Basically, she takes no ownership for leaving. Believes it is MY fault. AND feels that "not telling" is the same as "telling the truth" because "not telling" is not "lying"....and since she knows she will be in trouble for lying...she doesn't doesn't say anything. Therefore, I am being COMPLETELY unfair.
I stayed very calm. I told her (again!) that a lie by omission is still a lie. If you want your instruments back you are going to have to start telling us where you are and who you are with.
She says it can't be done.
At the moment, she is crying and ranting in her bedroom.
Is there a better way to handle this? or have I done all I can?
I guess the gist of it is that she wants a way to earn her instruments back WITHOUT meeting my requirement of knowing where she is and who she is with at all times.
I very calmly talked to her about it, acknowledged her emotions and tried to listen very carefully to the words she was using - then I would repeat it back to her to make sure I understood what she was saying.
Basically, she takes no ownership for leaving. Believes it is MY fault. AND feels that "not telling" is the same as "telling the truth" because "not telling" is not "lying"....and since she knows she will be in trouble for lying...she doesn't doesn't say anything. Therefore, I am being COMPLETELY unfair.
I stayed very calm. I told her (again!) that a lie by omission is still a lie. If you want your instruments back you are going to have to start telling us where you are and who you are with.
She says it can't be done.
At the moment, she is crying and ranting in her bedroom.
Is there a better way to handle this? or have I done all I can?