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General Parenting
Stability? Is it real?
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 230982" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Stability by whatever means is still stability.</p><p>The thought is that if the perform the correct behaviors enough that they will be ingrained. </p><p>The question would be "will this last?" This is of course, a huge question mark. If nothing else on this site, you see people who reach stability and fall off. They get back up because of their parents and become stable again. It's a constant roller coaster. </p><p></p><p>He sounds like he has sensory issues even if he has never been diagnosed. Therapy could really help him in combination with medications. </p><p></p><p>easy child and difficult child will function in a world they can live with. Not all difficult child's live in the real world. They function the best they can given some of their anxieties, disabilities and other issues. Some need a supported environment(my difficult child) in more or lesser degree. </p><p>Our jobs as parents is to encourage, guide, teach and fight hurdles with difficult child to use their strengths to support their weaknesses. We all want to raise law abiding, tax paying, independent adults. We push for that goal and hope that our difficult child's make it there. </p><p></p><p>Accountability! absolutely within their ability to comprehend and process. It's not a level playing field. </p><p></p><p>easy child- it's amazing how affected easy child's tend to be. We had to work hard to make sure he got freedoms and opportunities because he did exactly what he was supposed to do. We tried to make sure easy child didn't suffer because difficult child was miserable. easy child knew he was loved but husband and I had to make sure we made a visible effort. We took him places without difficult child. husband and I alternated alone time with easy child. It was important to easy child that he had his parents undivided attention to do fun stuff or have serious talks. </p><p></p><p>It feels like total stability for our difficult child's is elusive. Enjoy it while you have it. Help him learn to modify his behavior and hope that difficult child learns what he needs to have as full a life as he wants. </p><p>Being different, quirky or creative isn't a bad thing but we have to get our difficult child's to the point of functioning in their quirkiness.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 230982, member: 3"] Stability by whatever means is still stability. The thought is that if the perform the correct behaviors enough that they will be ingrained. The question would be "will this last?" This is of course, a huge question mark. If nothing else on this site, you see people who reach stability and fall off. They get back up because of their parents and become stable again. It's a constant roller coaster. He sounds like he has sensory issues even if he has never been diagnosed. Therapy could really help him in combination with medications. easy child and difficult child will function in a world they can live with. Not all difficult child's live in the real world. They function the best they can given some of their anxieties, disabilities and other issues. Some need a supported environment(my difficult child) in more or lesser degree. Our jobs as parents is to encourage, guide, teach and fight hurdles with difficult child to use their strengths to support their weaknesses. We all want to raise law abiding, tax paying, independent adults. We push for that goal and hope that our difficult child's make it there. Accountability! absolutely within their ability to comprehend and process. It's not a level playing field. easy child- it's amazing how affected easy child's tend to be. We had to work hard to make sure he got freedoms and opportunities because he did exactly what he was supposed to do. We tried to make sure easy child didn't suffer because difficult child was miserable. easy child knew he was loved but husband and I had to make sure we made a visible effort. We took him places without difficult child. husband and I alternated alone time with easy child. It was important to easy child that he had his parents undivided attention to do fun stuff or have serious talks. It feels like total stability for our difficult child's is elusive. Enjoy it while you have it. Help him learn to modify his behavior and hope that difficult child learns what he needs to have as full a life as he wants. Being different, quirky or creative isn't a bad thing but we have to get our difficult child's to the point of functioning in their quirkiness. [/QUOTE]
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