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<blockquote data-quote="everywoman" data-source="post: 80484" data-attributes="member: 1436"><p>Janet: Thanks for posting this. I, too, at one point was so totally enmeshed in my difficult child's life that I couldn't detangle myself. I can remember the pain of thinking that I had to "fix" things so he could be okay and then failing at every attempt and thinking I was somehow to blame. You and I both know it takes a long time to reach a level of detachment where we now sit. It doesn't happen overnight---just like recovery for our difficult children it is an ongoing process. And we too will backslide.</p><p></p><p>Stands--I pm'd you already. Please understand that it will take time to learn to detach. Even when you are able to, you will still feel pain when you see your difficult child hurting. Just like your difficult child has to hit bottom---you do to. And you will. But don't be hard on yourself for loving and caring about your son. Before they were difficult children, they were our children. </p><p>Many of us understand your fear of letting go and letting God (that's one thing you will learn from an NA/AA group.) </p><p></p><p>This is supposed to be a soft-spot to land. Let's all remember that. We don't all become warrior moms overnight! Sometimes, we don't need advice--we just need to cry and complain. And that's okay too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="everywoman, post: 80484, member: 1436"] Janet: Thanks for posting this. I, too, at one point was so totally enmeshed in my difficult child's life that I couldn't detangle myself. I can remember the pain of thinking that I had to "fix" things so he could be okay and then failing at every attempt and thinking I was somehow to blame. You and I both know it takes a long time to reach a level of detachment where we now sit. It doesn't happen overnight---just like recovery for our difficult children it is an ongoing process. And we too will backslide. Stands--I pm'd you already. Please understand that it will take time to learn to detach. Even when you are able to, you will still feel pain when you see your difficult child hurting. Just like your difficult child has to hit bottom---you do to. And you will. But don't be hard on yourself for loving and caring about your son. Before they were difficult children, they were our children. Many of us understand your fear of letting go and letting God (that's one thing you will learn from an NA/AA group.) This is supposed to be a soft-spot to land. Let's all remember that. We don't all become warrior moms overnight! Sometimes, we don't need advice--we just need to cry and complain. And that's okay too. [/QUOTE]
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