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<blockquote data-quote="KFld" data-source="post: 89363" data-attributes="member: 2442"><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: busywend</div><div class="ubbcode-body"></p><p>It is my very humble and probably nieve (sp?) opinion that if it was there at one time, it can be there again. Just because you both did not deal with your marital problems as they arose, does not mean they can not be dealt with now. </p><p>I completely understand if you could never forgive him for cheating. Some people can, some can not. I am not sure what I would do. But, you must realize that this 27 year relationship is very valuable and precious. Just because it was not maintained properly does not mean it is completely broken. You have been unhappy for so long - because you did not change it then by working. Because it was easier to do nothing. </p><p></p><p>I am not trying to change your mind - just like you said above, want you to hear all aspects. </div></div></p><p></p><p>We actually did try and do this around 4 years ago. We went to the same counselor together that we are seeing seperatley now. It worked for a little while, but not for long. I don't think I had the feelings anymore to continue to put the energy it took to keep it going. Like I have said before, it's no excuse for him having an affair. If he wasn't happy with the way things were going, he should have just left. I have to deal with the guilty feelings of not really being happy in the marriage for quite a long time, but not having the courage to end it. I guess I just always thought things might change and get better, but apparentley they didn't. </p><p></p><p>Thank you all so much for your support. </p><p></p><p>I went to the house after work and got lots of holiday decorations packed up in a box. my house is now pretty festive for halloween and thanksgiving. I have all my autumn cented candles burning and I brought home a rug that was in our basement that we used to have under our dining room table. I put it in my kitchen and it looks awesome. My kitchen is big and pretty open, so it was kind of echoey. Not anymore :smile:</p><p></p><p>Porkchops are baking in the oven and I'm waiting for easy child to come home for dinner.</p><p></p><p>I grabbed the photo album my dad sent home with me from Florida with lots of pictures from my parents when they were young, up to my kids being little. I think I'll spend some time looking through that tonight.</p><p></p><p>I'm feeling a little better tonight.</p><p></p><p>Thank you all!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KFld, post: 89363, member: 2442"] <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: busywend</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> It is my very humble and probably nieve (sp?) opinion that if it was there at one time, it can be there again. Just because you both did not deal with your marital problems as they arose, does not mean they can not be dealt with now. I completely understand if you could never forgive him for cheating. Some people can, some can not. I am not sure what I would do. But, you must realize that this 27 year relationship is very valuable and precious. Just because it was not maintained properly does not mean it is completely broken. You have been unhappy for so long - because you did not change it then by working. Because it was easier to do nothing. I am not trying to change your mind - just like you said above, want you to hear all aspects. </div></div> We actually did try and do this around 4 years ago. We went to the same counselor together that we are seeing seperatley now. It worked for a little while, but not for long. I don't think I had the feelings anymore to continue to put the energy it took to keep it going. Like I have said before, it's no excuse for him having an affair. If he wasn't happy with the way things were going, he should have just left. I have to deal with the guilty feelings of not really being happy in the marriage for quite a long time, but not having the courage to end it. I guess I just always thought things might change and get better, but apparentley they didn't. Thank you all so much for your support. I went to the house after work and got lots of holiday decorations packed up in a box. my house is now pretty festive for halloween and thanksgiving. I have all my autumn cented candles burning and I brought home a rug that was in our basement that we used to have under our dining room table. I put it in my kitchen and it looks awesome. My kitchen is big and pretty open, so it was kind of echoey. Not anymore [img]:smile:[/img] Porkchops are baking in the oven and I'm waiting for easy child to come home for dinner. I grabbed the photo album my dad sent home with me from Florida with lots of pictures from my parents when they were young, up to my kids being little. I think I'll spend some time looking through that tonight. I'm feeling a little better tonight. Thank you all!!! [/QUOTE]
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