Hi everyone - Just joined, looking for some advice and support.
For the past 7 months I have been living with my girlfriend and her 8 year old son, who I love and care for immensely. He is a sweet, handsome and intelligent boy, but I am insanely worried about the trajectory he is on.
He has been diagnosed with extreme ADHD, and the ritalin seems to make a huge difference, especially in school. However, he is showing some alarming tendencies that I have no explanation or solution for.
* He has no fear of consequences, at all. You can threaten the worst punishment you can think of (and are, of course, willing to do), but it will never cause him to stop what he is doing.
* He repeats the same transgressions over and over, even when there is no need for it (for example, our insistence on him telling us where he is going. We hardly ever tell him not to go somewhere, and yet he will continue disappearing). He steals money from his mothers wallet, gets into trouble, tells the most ridiculous lies about it, and then does it again a few days later.
* When he is off his ritalin, he is violent and bossy towards other children, and just generally unwilling to follow any request or demand.
I am increasingly concerned as while I have had a great effect on him in certain areas, others are just getting worse, and I fear the day when he will be sophisticated enough to do things without getting caught, and lie better. I am trying to convince his mother to get him some more professional help, but in what I assume is a natural maternal response, she is unable to think of her son as someone who may need psychiatric medication, and refuses to even take him in for a diagnosis.
Seems like there is a lot of experience on this board. Would love to hear any thoughts and advice.
Y.
For the past 7 months I have been living with my girlfriend and her 8 year old son, who I love and care for immensely. He is a sweet, handsome and intelligent boy, but I am insanely worried about the trajectory he is on.
He has been diagnosed with extreme ADHD, and the ritalin seems to make a huge difference, especially in school. However, he is showing some alarming tendencies that I have no explanation or solution for.
* He has no fear of consequences, at all. You can threaten the worst punishment you can think of (and are, of course, willing to do), but it will never cause him to stop what he is doing.
* He repeats the same transgressions over and over, even when there is no need for it (for example, our insistence on him telling us where he is going. We hardly ever tell him not to go somewhere, and yet he will continue disappearing). He steals money from his mothers wallet, gets into trouble, tells the most ridiculous lies about it, and then does it again a few days later.
* When he is off his ritalin, he is violent and bossy towards other children, and just generally unwilling to follow any request or demand.
I am increasingly concerned as while I have had a great effect on him in certain areas, others are just getting worse, and I fear the day when he will be sophisticated enough to do things without getting caught, and lie better. I am trying to convince his mother to get him some more professional help, but in what I assume is a natural maternal response, she is unable to think of her son as someone who may need psychiatric medication, and refuses to even take him in for a diagnosis.
Seems like there is a lot of experience on this board. Would love to hear any thoughts and advice.
Y.