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Steam is coming out of my ears!
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 358593" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Marcie (and others who feel that way)- I understand what you are saying and I would be willing to go thru that process IF I didn't already know based on expperience with more than one incident that the attny's and PO tell the mental health evaluator what the outcome should be and the darn evaluators actually follow that (what I term the tail wagging the dog) and they can orders me to take medications or do whatever- which I cannot afford and am not willing to do- AND difficult child is sitting there telling me he wants to do the wildest and craziest things, he thinks a good mom should cover for him about drugs, etc. And because I already had a short experience with the MST guy and NO - there's no way I can buy into that kind of contract so difficult child will agree not to break the law. If orders are orders, then they can expect the same from difficult child. And going thru all this for four years has left me with zero faith in a system full of people in control who have no first hand experience whatsoever with raising a difficult child. </p><p></p><p>Again, I can't say for sure that I haven't failed difficult child. What I can say for sure is that I have no faith in this revolving door working and I have no more resources and I want difficult child to have the best chance and I honestly believe with everything in my heart and brain that sending him home with this slap on the hand and sending me to mental health will only lead to worse circumstances and drag things out longer. If difficult child thinks I am the problem and those in the courts think I am the problem- then so be it. I'm not fighting it anymore. I have nothing left to fight with- not financially, emotionally or mentally. </p><p></p><p>It appears to be a very enabling system and I can't help that. I can't control what they decide to do with difficult child. I can't control what difficult child wants. I can however stick by what I told difficult child in Department of Juvenile Justice- this was his last chance and I refuse to get bombarded with orders again for him breaking the law and completely disprespecting me and what I expect of him. He shrugged off the PO's requirements last night because he said the PO didn't stick by his threat/waarning that he'd go back to Department of Juvenile Justice and difficult child said he knew he wouldn't today. I am NOT going to participate in this any longer. I cannot believe it can possibly be in difficult child's best interest. If that makes me mentally ill then so be it. They can place difficult child somewhere else and he'll be better off if my choices are so wrong that they are causing this. We don't need to spend 6 more months on it. We don't need to wait for difficult child to pull a knife on me again. We don't need to wait for another court battle. I'll remove myself from the picture and if the sytem and difficult child blaming me all my life somehow turns him around- great. It's worth it. Problem solved.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 358593, member: 3699"] Marcie (and others who feel that way)- I understand what you are saying and I would be willing to go thru that process IF I didn't already know based on expperience with more than one incident that the attny's and PO tell the mental health evaluator what the outcome should be and the darn evaluators actually follow that (what I term the tail wagging the dog) and they can orders me to take medications or do whatever- which I cannot afford and am not willing to do- AND difficult child is sitting there telling me he wants to do the wildest and craziest things, he thinks a good mom should cover for him about drugs, etc. And because I already had a short experience with the MST guy and NO - there's no way I can buy into that kind of contract so difficult child will agree not to break the law. If orders are orders, then they can expect the same from difficult child. And going thru all this for four years has left me with zero faith in a system full of people in control who have no first hand experience whatsoever with raising a difficult child. Again, I can't say for sure that I haven't failed difficult child. What I can say for sure is that I have no faith in this revolving door working and I have no more resources and I want difficult child to have the best chance and I honestly believe with everything in my heart and brain that sending him home with this slap on the hand and sending me to mental health will only lead to worse circumstances and drag things out longer. If difficult child thinks I am the problem and those in the courts think I am the problem- then so be it. I'm not fighting it anymore. I have nothing left to fight with- not financially, emotionally or mentally. It appears to be a very enabling system and I can't help that. I can't control what they decide to do with difficult child. I can't control what difficult child wants. I can however stick by what I told difficult child in Department of Juvenile Justice- this was his last chance and I refuse to get bombarded with orders again for him breaking the law and completely disprespecting me and what I expect of him. He shrugged off the PO's requirements last night because he said the PO didn't stick by his threat/waarning that he'd go back to Department of Juvenile Justice and difficult child said he knew he wouldn't today. I am NOT going to participate in this any longer. I cannot believe it can possibly be in difficult child's best interest. If that makes me mentally ill then so be it. They can place difficult child somewhere else and he'll be better off if my choices are so wrong that they are causing this. We don't need to spend 6 more months on it. We don't need to wait for difficult child to pull a knife on me again. We don't need to wait for another court battle. I'll remove myself from the picture and if the sytem and difficult child blaming me all my life somehow turns him around- great. It's worth it. Problem solved. [/QUOTE]
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