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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 171742" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>Gosh, klmno.........I SO know what you mean about being inundated with past memories of difficult child when you are down. Sometimes it is like a movie player in my head, with me as the moderator, going - hey, look at <em>that</em> cute kid - what did you do wrong?</p><p></p><p>Yeah, it is hard. I cannot imagined being separated from him like you are. How is holding up? Is he managing OK? I send you so many hugs. I mean that wholeheartedly.</p><p></p><p>My difficult child is doing OK in terms of respect and stuff, but he seems oh so depressed. It is something I am trying to think too much about, as I get really panicky. I think he is making progress in many areas - but in others I see him morphing into a slug. I can only do one day at a time with him.</p><p></p><p>It is very nice of you to mention my writing. It makes my heart skip a beat.<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/redface.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":redface:" title="redface :redface:" data-shortname=":redface:" /> I have written 150 pages.........but then I stopped. I got discouraged, and was having a hard time continuing my memoir when it came to difficult child and his life. (Hard to believe there was 150 pages before difficult child, I know!!!! And I was only 24 when he was born<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" />)</p><p>Anyway, it just saddened me too much to write about him. For the exact reasons I mentioned above. Guilt. Guilt I need to get over.</p><p></p><p>Someday, however, it is my goal, before I leave this earth, to finish my book. Not for me, and <em>my</em> memoir, but because I believe my life will enlighten people to the truths of mental illness. There has been so much mental illness, in all of the people I love - the most recent and pressing of which was H. It deserves to be written about, and exposed. H. was my one advocate in all of this - she supported and encouraged me - but now that she is gone, it fuels my fire even more.</p><p></p><p>My life, and all of our lives with difficult children, deserves to have others learn from it - because God forbid we have gone through all of this not to have something good come from it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 171742, member: 3301"] Gosh, klmno.........I SO know what you mean about being inundated with past memories of difficult child when you are down. Sometimes it is like a movie player in my head, with me as the moderator, going - hey, look at [I]that[/I] cute kid - what did you do wrong? Yeah, it is hard. I cannot imagined being separated from him like you are. How is holding up? Is he managing OK? I send you so many hugs. I mean that wholeheartedly. My difficult child is doing OK in terms of respect and stuff, but he seems oh so depressed. It is something I am trying to think too much about, as I get really panicky. I think he is making progress in many areas - but in others I see him morphing into a slug. I can only do one day at a time with him. It is very nice of you to mention my writing. It makes my heart skip a beat.:blushing: I have written 150 pages.........but then I stopped. I got discouraged, and was having a hard time continuing my memoir when it came to difficult child and his life. (Hard to believe there was 150 pages before difficult child, I know!!!! And I was only 24 when he was born:raspberry-tounge:) Anyway, it just saddened me too much to write about him. For the exact reasons I mentioned above. Guilt. Guilt I need to get over. Someday, however, it is my goal, before I leave this earth, to finish my book. Not for me, and [I]my[/I] memoir, but because I believe my life will enlighten people to the truths of mental illness. There has been so much mental illness, in all of the people I love - the most recent and pressing of which was H. It deserves to be written about, and exposed. H. was my one advocate in all of this - she supported and encouraged me - but now that she is gone, it fuels my fire even more. My life, and all of our lives with difficult children, deserves to have others learn from it - because God forbid we have gone through all of this not to have something good come from it. [/QUOTE]
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