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Step forward for difficult child - He is learning to say no
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 573693" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Thanks, 3D.</p><p></p><p>I'm excited how much he seems to be learning new skills. His mental coach has been really grate. difficult child is really blessed to have that kind of help.</p><p></p><p>I reread the title of this and I found myself amused. I can still remember so well the time when 'no!' seemed to be an only word difficult child new. And let's face it. It may had not been his first word, but it definitely was amongst first three. My tummy would had been sore for a month from laughing, if someone had come to me 15 or 16 or 17 year ago and told me, that in January 2013 I would celebrate the fact that difficult child knows how to say no. But yeah, it is not the same.</p><p></p><p>I also thought when we went through similar things with easy child. I think he was eight or nine when he was learning to say no to friends/people he wanted to please badly and draw boundaries and stood his ground. So difficult child seems to be only about ten years delayed in this. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> But he is learning, so I think that is what counts. </p><p></p><p>Of course this was something we tried to taught to him. Both me and husband have talked our heads blue about the topic without any progress. It seemed he was completely unable to work with these type of issues during his puberty. He was so over sensitive to anything he considered criticism towards his person, that he simply shut down, denied any difficulty, simply couldn't take anything in. Or that is how I now think. At the time it just felt that he was one stubborn donkey colt who was just he!! bent to screw everything up. </p><p></p><p>Now some of that sensitivity has lessen and he can take in criticism, advise etc. And he is willing to try and learn. Especially if he is treated nicely with it. He still can't take someone being too overbearing, not giving him time or being angry or mean about it. Then he shuts down. But especially his mental coach is really good at handling him and there has been so much progress in difficult child's behaviour during this last half a year. As I said he is very blessed to have access to this kind of support now that he is ready to take it in.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 573693, member: 14557"] Thanks, 3D. I'm excited how much he seems to be learning new skills. His mental coach has been really grate. difficult child is really blessed to have that kind of help. I reread the title of this and I found myself amused. I can still remember so well the time when 'no!' seemed to be an only word difficult child new. And let's face it. It may had not been his first word, but it definitely was amongst first three. My tummy would had been sore for a month from laughing, if someone had come to me 15 or 16 or 17 year ago and told me, that in January 2013 I would celebrate the fact that difficult child knows how to say no. But yeah, it is not the same. I also thought when we went through similar things with easy child. I think he was eight or nine when he was learning to say no to friends/people he wanted to please badly and draw boundaries and stood his ground. So difficult child seems to be only about ten years delayed in this. :winking: But he is learning, so I think that is what counts. Of course this was something we tried to taught to him. Both me and husband have talked our heads blue about the topic without any progress. It seemed he was completely unable to work with these type of issues during his puberty. He was so over sensitive to anything he considered criticism towards his person, that he simply shut down, denied any difficulty, simply couldn't take anything in. Or that is how I now think. At the time it just felt that he was one stubborn donkey colt who was just he!! bent to screw everything up. Now some of that sensitivity has lessen and he can take in criticism, advise etc. And he is willing to try and learn. Especially if he is treated nicely with it. He still can't take someone being too overbearing, not giving him time or being angry or mean about it. Then he shuts down. But especially his mental coach is really good at handling him and there has been so much progress in difficult child's behaviour during this last half a year. As I said he is very blessed to have access to this kind of support now that he is ready to take it in. [/QUOTE]
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