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Step Parent - Help!!
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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 606679" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>Hi there!</p><p></p><p>I, too, am a stepparent to two lovely children - Belle and Pat. (Butch is technically a step but not really in our lives ever.) Anyway, I met husband when they were 8 and 5. I loved them almost at first sight. Aside from biomom being what is colloquially known as "a piece of work", we did really well for a while... Until... We went from her being the residential parent, to 50/50, to the other way round, to husband having full custody. We'll just say abuse was the reason and leave it at that; I am sure you can fill in the blanks.</p><p></p><p>Belle was pretty much taught that husband was horrible and to love him meant she didn't love bio. By extension, me too. But then she figured out bio's games, and refused to visit, which got husband tossed in jail for 3 days for contempt for denial of parenting time. And... We tried to get the kids counseling, but bio blocked us at every turn.</p><p></p><p>Belle is 18 now and in county lockup awaiting trial for forgery, theft, and a handful of other felonies. Pat is 15 and a truly awesome kid. I truly believe his gender saved him from the same fate, because bio mostly ignored him.</p><p></p><p>That said, if SS wants counseling - please do everything in your power. Sometimes having an uninvolved person to talk to can make all the difference! The kids know about their mother... What they need YOU to be is a friend. I had to step in and be a mother due to a lot of circumstances, not the least of which was bio passing away 2 years ago. But honestly, they need that sense of stability and to know you are not trying to replace her. I heard this a lot and resented it at the time but if I had been able to... It would have been BEST!</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /> been there done that. Hated it.</p><p></p><p>PS - If she is still assaulting YOU, you MUST report it. When it happens.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 606679, member: 6705"] Hi there! I, too, am a stepparent to two lovely children - Belle and Pat. (Butch is technically a step but not really in our lives ever.) Anyway, I met husband when they were 8 and 5. I loved them almost at first sight. Aside from biomom being what is colloquially known as "a piece of work", we did really well for a while... Until... We went from her being the residential parent, to 50/50, to the other way round, to husband having full custody. We'll just say abuse was the reason and leave it at that; I am sure you can fill in the blanks. Belle was pretty much taught that husband was horrible and to love him meant she didn't love bio. By extension, me too. But then she figured out bio's games, and refused to visit, which got husband tossed in jail for 3 days for contempt for denial of parenting time. And... We tried to get the kids counseling, but bio blocked us at every turn. Belle is 18 now and in county lockup awaiting trial for forgery, theft, and a handful of other felonies. Pat is 15 and a truly awesome kid. I truly believe his gender saved him from the same fate, because bio mostly ignored him. That said, if SS wants counseling - please do everything in your power. Sometimes having an uninvolved person to talk to can make all the difference! The kids know about their mother... What they need YOU to be is a friend. I had to step in and be a mother due to a lot of circumstances, not the least of which was bio passing away 2 years ago. But honestly, they need that sense of stability and to know you are not trying to replace her. I heard this a lot and resented it at the time but if I had been able to... It would have been BEST! :hugs: been there done that. Hated it. PS - If she is still assaulting YOU, you MUST report it. When it happens. [/QUOTE]
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