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General Parenting
Step Parent - Help!!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 606761" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I think you need family therapy so that you can settle into some sort of understanding, with professional help, as to what role you have in these kid's lives and when issues come up you can hear the best way to handle them. Saying "it's my house too" may be a true fact, but also may alienate the kids. Stepparents have a very tricky role and it is easy to turn the kids against you, which will impact your marriage. Literally, my husband told me what he wanted changed and I was the one who said it. The harmony in the house really jacked up a lot when he stopped telling them what to do and their relationship improved tenfold. </p><p></p><p>It is different when a teacher, a scout leader, a piano teacher or a neighbor sees your stepchildren acting up and correct them. They are NOT sleeping with their father (we hope <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />) and the kids are less apt to cop an attitude and rebel because of it. One day it may happen that the kids see you as a mother figure or even as the better female parent, but you have to wait for that to happen. Family therapy addresses everyone's role in your family unit, not just your stepson's issues.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 606761, member: 1550"] I think you need family therapy so that you can settle into some sort of understanding, with professional help, as to what role you have in these kid's lives and when issues come up you can hear the best way to handle them. Saying "it's my house too" may be a true fact, but also may alienate the kids. Stepparents have a very tricky role and it is easy to turn the kids against you, which will impact your marriage. Literally, my husband told me what he wanted changed and I was the one who said it. The harmony in the house really jacked up a lot when he stopped telling them what to do and their relationship improved tenfold. It is different when a teacher, a scout leader, a piano teacher or a neighbor sees your stepchildren acting up and correct them. They are NOT sleeping with their father (we hope :)) and the kids are less apt to cop an attitude and rebel because of it. One day it may happen that the kids see you as a mother figure or even as the better female parent, but you have to wait for that to happen. Family therapy addresses everyone's role in your family unit, not just your stepson's issues. [/QUOTE]
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