Ease back on the contract but make ALL rewards non-material. If the rewards seem too unattainable, they won't try. At least she's being honest with you.
You may be trying to modify behaviour she hasn't sufficient control of. It's like I was saying to Jennifer - insisting on respect when they're raging is pointless. Even insisting on appropriate communication (or ANY communication) when raging, is pointless.
Thinking further, I would drop the weekly rewards entirely, for now. And break up the daily requirements into categories - no cups or plates in room (category 1). Clean bathrooms (category 2). Tasks completed daily (Category 3). No smoking (category 4). No drinking (category 5). Of however you choose. Maybe cut back on them, so you're dealing with less. And give a reward with each one, that perhaps involves you in some way. For example. difficult child 3's therapist had me playing a computer game with him for fifteen minutes, as his daily reward. We would play Mario Party (like a board game on a computer game system). Spending fun time together was good for bridge-building too.
To get his reward, he only had to do ONE thing - get through the day with no time-outs. We also had to warn (once each time). I also got to the stage where I didn't have enough of MY time to play computer games with him, so I substituted a certain amount of game time for another reward, such as an ice cream.
And ow third idea - as I type, they're coming to me. By having your reward system linked to the calendar week, you're re-setting the clock back to zero every time she fouls up. With difficult child 3, we simply accumulated until he'd earned bonus reward. This was easier - he didn't have the mental image of the week stretching out ahead of him, like Mt Everest to a paraplegic (although I do know of an amputee who has climbed Mt Everest - bet HE wasn't a difficult child!).
If instead you simply tick off days, and when she reaches 7 in total, you give her a 7 day reward. Although I would stick with the decimal system and make it either 5, or 10. But try to keep it non-material, and if possible something you can do together. Go to a movie, or watch a DVD together while eating popcorn, that sort of thing. Invite a friend around to watch a movie with while you play usherette with fresh popcorn supplies. You could even wear a pillbox hat and carry a torch, just for the fun of it. And don't forget the advertising on the screen - substitute that with, "While we take a short break, why not go for a walk with your friend, to get some fresh air?" Or "...help the usherette clean up the popcorn, so the floor has room for more in the next feature?"
I know you feel you ask very little of her, but I think you're asking too much - because ALL the things you're asking, combined, are in her too hard basket.
If you encourage the fun time together, you're also building the relationship and mutual respect. And with some kids, especially the ODD-seeming ones, you CAN'T insist on respect by standing over them and shouting it. You have to model it. This means that if she's disrespecting you, you walk away. Don't give her ANY payoff. Once she's calm, you can maybe talk about respect then. But the old-fashioned ideas of "because I'm the parent, that's why" has to get thrown out the window. it fails miserably here, I think it is in fact the cause of problems for a lot of us. I've seen it with so many of my friends. Stand-up comics tell horror stories of their childhood that we can all relate to, and many of the funnier stories are funny because they are so horrible and because of their ring of truth. Like the woman saying that her son has grown up to be really stupid, and it's her fault, because when he was younger she would say to him, "Now don't you get smart!"
Or Bill Cosby's description of raising a child: "I brought you into this world son, I can take you out!"
We laugh, but we remember.
How much better is it, if we can simply walk away from their screaming/yelling, then when they are ready to communicate at a normal decibel level, we go back and say, "NOW can we talk about respect?" And also do not forget, "Now, about what you called me back there... we are going to discuss that now, calmly."
Be the elephant that never forgets, with the calm and patience of an oriental Buddha.
The other thing you have to watch - deflection. Bad teachers do it, when you go to the school and complain. Politicians do it. Sneaky spouses do it. So it's no surprise that some kids get to be really good at it. They learn from us, from their peers and from watching TV.
Deflection goes like this -
Mum: "Jenny, I told you to clean your room!"
Jenny: "I'll clean my room when David cleans the bathroom, He shaved this morning and left big globs of shaving cream all over the bench. How can I wash my hands in that sink? There's little black beard hairs all over it. At least I THINK they're from his face..."
Mum: (amazingly persistent, because part of her is thinking - WHAT did David shave...?) I need your room clean now!
Jenny: I need the bathroom clean first, or I can't do my bedroom properly. Why are you only picking on me? What about making David clean up his mess? It's just not fair, expecting me to clean up first because I'm a GIRL...
Mum: David! Clean up your mess in the bathroom NOW!
(Mum has now fallen for the deflection. She is now caught up in a Chicken Little situation - David will probably deflect right back and blame older sister Kathy for shaving her legs and leaving a mess; Kathy won't clean it because she has a paper to write and "you WANT me to do well, don't you Mum?" and besides, it was Jenny and not Kathy.)
The blame circle can go round and round and meanwhile your original objective has been long-forgotten. You get worn down and exhausted and clean the bathroom yourself, then forget to nag about Jenny's bedroom.
Some battles just aren't worth fighting.
We gave up on bedrooms a while ago. I won't go into the kids rooms in case I turn an ankle. I don't have to worry about vacuuming dust off the floor - there are too many books, papers and clothes on the floor.
I had a more able-bodied friend come over once and with her help we got a great deal of difficult child 1'a room cleared of stuff. Most of it was rubbish, a lot of the clothes had been outgrown long ago but he'd never realised. Then difficult child 1 came home from school and was terribly upset because he couldn't find anything; the room didn't smell right; I'd washed the smell right out of his pyjamas and bedding and he wouldn't be able to sleep.
I kid you not.
That's when I realised that of all the things I wanted difficult child 1 to do, the effort involved in cleaning his room just wasn't worth it. If I ever succeeded in getting him to clean his room, it would be at the expense of everything else normal in his life.
Now when I find stuff of his elsewhere in the house, I put it on his bed. HIS job to put it away (I don't care where, as long as it's not back in the living room). He's had to share his bed with his entire axe, sword and morning star collection before this... then he built racks for them above his bed.
He's getting engaged tomorrow (if she says yes). I wonder if she realises just how obsessive he is about his weapons collection? Theirs will be an interesting living-room...
Try and get into your daughter's head. What sets her off? What can she handle? What can't she? Do your best to avoid setting her off, but otherwise work on just a few things you feel she can handle.
I do feel your failure up until now is from trying to do too much of what she can't handle, even though you feel there is so little. Maybe if you want it to seem more, put back in things she can do moderately well when she remembers, so she has built in success at least to a certain point.
Another concern - how do you grade success in things that are hard to measure? For example, how do you determine if she is lying to you? Or smoking? Or drinking? because if you have a built-in lie detector, then great. otherwise all you're doing is punishing her for getting caught, and all that is doing is teaching her to be more successful at lying about it next time. Because you're not scoring a perfect hit every time, she sees your discipline in this as inconsistent, even if you're reacting every time you KNOW about it. It's the ones you DON'T know (and she feels surely you must) that are doing the damage.
Not an easy one.
Ross Greene spells it out well in "The Explosive Child".
Make the goals achievable.
Marg