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Substance Abuse
Still havent heard from him
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 550155" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>TL,</p><p>Getting ready to leave town to take easy child to college but wanted to drop you a quick note.</p><p></p><p>I understand the anger, frustration and disappointment you must feel. </p><p>I haven't written my young difficult child in prison for around 2 months because I am disturbed about tattoos he put on his chest. My daughter in law suggests I write him...but I am reminded of what I was taught at Al Anon several yrs ago when my visits/efforts for oldest difficult child in prison did not always go as planned. </p><p></p><p>They asked me to "Check your motives"...they told me that if I gave, did, or said anything with expection of some kind of positive return that "it was not a gift". </p><p></p><p>husband and I have lost 10's of thousands due to our difficult child's behavior/choices/drug addiction. I am no longer angry as it is what it is. We tried, gave, and sacrificed our best. I can live with that now. </p><p></p><p>I don't know if anything I said helps but I hope your anger will subside in time. </p><p>Caring thoughts, </p><p>LMS </p><p>ps...My oldest difficult child is now very functional and hard working, sober (perhaps "dry") even. He does not thank us for all that we gave in the past, in fact, he now judges us (me) for being mentally ill, going to the casino here and there, his sister's preference, and his brother being in prison. He told husband that he would NOT be here if young difficult child was here for Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. There is no sign of real gratitude or recognition from him even though he put us through all kinds of H for many years. It's as if he's forgotten and refuses to be reminded of where he once was. He is "oh so much better" than the rest of his family now...sigh, it would be nice to hear a Thank You from him every once in awhile.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 550155, member: 3305"] TL, Getting ready to leave town to take easy child to college but wanted to drop you a quick note. I understand the anger, frustration and disappointment you must feel. I haven't written my young difficult child in prison for around 2 months because I am disturbed about tattoos he put on his chest. My daughter in law suggests I write him...but I am reminded of what I was taught at Al Anon several yrs ago when my visits/efforts for oldest difficult child in prison did not always go as planned. They asked me to "Check your motives"...they told me that if I gave, did, or said anything with expection of some kind of positive return that "it was not a gift". husband and I have lost 10's of thousands due to our difficult child's behavior/choices/drug addiction. I am no longer angry as it is what it is. We tried, gave, and sacrificed our best. I can live with that now. I don't know if anything I said helps but I hope your anger will subside in time. Caring thoughts, LMS ps...My oldest difficult child is now very functional and hard working, sober (perhaps "dry") even. He does not thank us for all that we gave in the past, in fact, he now judges us (me) for being mentally ill, going to the casino here and there, his sister's preference, and his brother being in prison. He told husband that he would NOT be here if young difficult child was here for Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. There is no sign of real gratitude or recognition from him even though he put us through all kinds of H for many years. It's as if he's forgotten and refuses to be reminded of where he once was. He is "oh so much better" than the rest of his family now...sigh, it would be nice to hear a Thank You from him every once in awhile. [/QUOTE]
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