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Strugglin' horribly with 11 year old with Conduct Disorder & Personality Disorder
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<blockquote data-quote="Rachielee" data-source="post: 490620" data-attributes="member: 13435"><p>I am with ya' 100%......I think the therapist agrees with me a titch on the attachment issues, but I feel she doesn't really know what to think either because every time she sees Brad for his individual therapy, his "problem" with his mother changes....one time it's all because of her, the next it's because of another reason and not his mother, etc.....Brad is trying to work her as to benefit him. When he first started with the psychotherapy, he was extremely elated, on such a "high" and was so excited. I think he thought she was going to tell us or "make" us give into to his every whim, let him do what he wanted, lavish him in whatever he wanted, etc. When he found out that wasn't what this was all about, his attitude towards her changed. He's a very intelligent young man.....and very hard to communicate with when it comes to feelings. We've tried having him write his feelings down when he's upset, sad, mad, etc. He refused. When he was claiming mom was the entire reason for all of this and he just wanted to go live with her and all would be better, she had suggested he write his mom a letter expressing his feelings because there is no way he could tell her himself. Well, that didn't happen cuz he didn't want to. If it requires him to do something (put some work into it) he refuses to do it. When asked or I comment that perhaps he should call his mom since it has been a couple months or a month or whatever, he always says not now or he will later. She doesn't call often, like I said maybe every month or 2 or 3 (how she sleeps at night I have no idea)!! This past summer she told him when he turned 12 he could go live with her; he turns 12 in February ~ Nice huh?? She doesn't even have a place to live, stays with friends and bartends and bowls...she doesn't have the time to raise her son. I know he is angry with his mother and I also know much of that anger towards gets directed towards me, but that's okay. I've told him it's okay to admit he hurts, it's okay to cry and explained over and over it is not his fault she left but I cannot change how he thinks....I can only try to assure him no matter what choice he makes, what trouble he gets into, I do love him! I tread thin water when it comes to him and have to think about every word that comes out of my mouth because I don't want him to feel crowded or threatened. Also am not going to give him words he can manipulate.....huge deal right there. Last evening he drew me a picture.....it's wonderful and made my heart smile but it's horribly sad because I know where that picture came from ~ it is Christmas break, no school and like the snap of a finger his entire being changed to Mr. Sweetness. He wants Xbox, TV, etc.....not happening until those are earned back again after his stealing spree over the past 2 weeks. So....when he gets the same answer over and over (those are to be earned back) all hell will break lose again I am sure but so be it. Today's appointment will hopefully go well....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Rachielee, post: 490620, member: 13435"] I am with ya' 100%......I think the therapist agrees with me a titch on the attachment issues, but I feel she doesn't really know what to think either because every time she sees Brad for his individual therapy, his "problem" with his mother changes....one time it's all because of her, the next it's because of another reason and not his mother, etc.....Brad is trying to work her as to benefit him. When he first started with the psychotherapy, he was extremely elated, on such a "high" and was so excited. I think he thought she was going to tell us or "make" us give into to his every whim, let him do what he wanted, lavish him in whatever he wanted, etc. When he found out that wasn't what this was all about, his attitude towards her changed. He's a very intelligent young man.....and very hard to communicate with when it comes to feelings. We've tried having him write his feelings down when he's upset, sad, mad, etc. He refused. When he was claiming mom was the entire reason for all of this and he just wanted to go live with her and all would be better, she had suggested he write his mom a letter expressing his feelings because there is no way he could tell her himself. Well, that didn't happen cuz he didn't want to. If it requires him to do something (put some work into it) he refuses to do it. When asked or I comment that perhaps he should call his mom since it has been a couple months or a month or whatever, he always says not now or he will later. She doesn't call often, like I said maybe every month or 2 or 3 (how she sleeps at night I have no idea)!! This past summer she told him when he turned 12 he could go live with her; he turns 12 in February ~ Nice huh?? She doesn't even have a place to live, stays with friends and bartends and bowls...she doesn't have the time to raise her son. I know he is angry with his mother and I also know much of that anger towards gets directed towards me, but that's okay. I've told him it's okay to admit he hurts, it's okay to cry and explained over and over it is not his fault she left but I cannot change how he thinks....I can only try to assure him no matter what choice he makes, what trouble he gets into, I do love him! I tread thin water when it comes to him and have to think about every word that comes out of my mouth because I don't want him to feel crowded or threatened. Also am not going to give him words he can manipulate.....huge deal right there. Last evening he drew me a picture.....it's wonderful and made my heart smile but it's horribly sad because I know where that picture came from ~ it is Christmas break, no school and like the snap of a finger his entire being changed to Mr. Sweetness. He wants Xbox, TV, etc.....not happening until those are earned back again after his stealing spree over the past 2 weeks. So....when he gets the same answer over and over (those are to be earned back) all hell will break lose again I am sure but so be it. Today's appointment will hopefully go well.... [/QUOTE]
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Strugglin' horribly with 11 year old with Conduct Disorder & Personality Disorder
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