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Struggling/Frustrated/Angry (long post)
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 161468" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>I remember dreading everyone else's kid's graduation. UGH! I hate to hear about any of us going through these feelings with our kids.</p><p></p><p>I do have a couple of suggestions as to how you might feel better regarding your vacation, and leaving the house in general.</p><p></p><p>First, when you have the new door installed, obviously, you are planning to change all of the locks on your home. Change key codes to the garage, etc. Check the locks on all of your windows and doors and even try breaking in from the outside to see how vulnerable you are. Fix anything that is the least bit iffy. Those window locks that keep the windows from opening more than a few inches unless you unlatch them from the inside are cheap and a good investment. </p><p></p><p>Invest in some good strong motion detector lights for the exterior. Trim back any bushes that are blocking clear views of the doors and windows. Put away ladders or anything he can stand upon that will help boost him into a window.</p><p></p><p>Use some of that money you saved from not taking difficult child on the cruise and spend it on a surveillance system. You can get one with 6 wireless cameras for about $400. They hook into your computer and you can check them from anywhere.</p><p></p><p>If you don't have an alarm system, get one. They will install them for free with alarms on two doors and one motion detector. A second motion detector is available for a nominal fee. We have our motion detector in the bedroom, and close that up when we go so the pets don't set it off. Anything that we want to keep a particular eye on that is small goes in there, and the door is closed when we are gone.</p><p></p><p>When and if you do get an alarm system, make it very clear that your son is not on your list of people allowed into your home and that he should be considered a burglar and arrested. Get a few letters notarized saying the same thing and give them to trusted neighbors to have on hand should you be gone and he breaks in at any time. Be sure to list any prior arrests or convictions so that they won't just shoo him off and he comes back again when no one is looking.</p><p></p><p>When you <em>do</em> kick him out, do it firmly. Make sure that he understands under what circumstances (if any) he is welcome in your home. I suspect your initial rule will be "not at all", and that's reasonable. Be sure that he understands the security precautions that you have taken and that you will not hesitate to prosecute him or any of his "friends" that come to your home uninvited or come into your home without your knowledge. </p><p></p><p>Talk to a lawyer about what your rights are so that the police can't just write this off to a "domestic" if you should call. If he has been told to stay out of your home, and comes in anyway, it's burglary. If he brings friends with him, it's felony burglary. </p><p></p><p>Hopefully, your son will get his act together when the easy place to rob has closed it's doors. If not, you have protected yourselves.</p><p></p><p>{{{{{{{{Big hugs}}}}}}}}}}</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 161468, member: 99"] I remember dreading everyone else's kid's graduation. UGH! I hate to hear about any of us going through these feelings with our kids. I do have a couple of suggestions as to how you might feel better regarding your vacation, and leaving the house in general. First, when you have the new door installed, obviously, you are planning to change all of the locks on your home. Change key codes to the garage, etc. Check the locks on all of your windows and doors and even try breaking in from the outside to see how vulnerable you are. Fix anything that is the least bit iffy. Those window locks that keep the windows from opening more than a few inches unless you unlatch them from the inside are cheap and a good investment. Invest in some good strong motion detector lights for the exterior. Trim back any bushes that are blocking clear views of the doors and windows. Put away ladders or anything he can stand upon that will help boost him into a window. Use some of that money you saved from not taking difficult child on the cruise and spend it on a surveillance system. You can get one with 6 wireless cameras for about $400. They hook into your computer and you can check them from anywhere. If you don't have an alarm system, get one. They will install them for free with alarms on two doors and one motion detector. A second motion detector is available for a nominal fee. We have our motion detector in the bedroom, and close that up when we go so the pets don't set it off. Anything that we want to keep a particular eye on that is small goes in there, and the door is closed when we are gone. When and if you do get an alarm system, make it very clear that your son is not on your list of people allowed into your home and that he should be considered a burglar and arrested. Get a few letters notarized saying the same thing and give them to trusted neighbors to have on hand should you be gone and he breaks in at any time. Be sure to list any prior arrests or convictions so that they won't just shoo him off and he comes back again when no one is looking. When you [I]do[/I] kick him out, do it firmly. Make sure that he understands under what circumstances (if any) he is welcome in your home. I suspect your initial rule will be "not at all", and that's reasonable. Be sure that he understands the security precautions that you have taken and that you will not hesitate to prosecute him or any of his "friends" that come to your home uninvited or come into your home without your knowledge. Talk to a lawyer about what your rights are so that the police can't just write this off to a "domestic" if you should call. If he has been told to stay out of your home, and comes in anyway, it's burglary. If he brings friends with him, it's felony burglary. Hopefully, your son will get his act together when the easy place to rob has closed it's doors. If not, you have protected yourselves. {{{{{{{{Big hugs}}}}}}}}}} [/QUOTE]
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