I haven't posted or read the board much in the past few days (or weeks maybe?) because I've just been having a really hard time with my difficult child Nick. I feel like a turtle that needs to put it's head in it's shell. I'm fairly new to the board and will give you a quick run down of our situation. Our son, Nick, turned 18 in February. We first caught him drinking back when he was around 14, and since has drank alcohol, used, marijuana, stole from us and friends, got arrested at 18 for auto theft, etc. He is currently a highschool drop out because he realized that he could legally do that since he is 18. My husband and I have dealt with our situation pretty good so far. We know that we have done the best parenting job we could, we've taught him right from wrong, and now he must deal with his choices. We have gone to counseling to figure out how to deal with Nick (couldn't drag difficult child there), we've worked with the schools, etc. Right now our rule is that Nick must get a job and be fully employed to remain in our house. Okay, that's all the background right now. So, why am I struggling/frustrated/angry right now? There are so many reasons. My husband and I are getting ready to kick difficult child out of our house completely, we are just waiting on receiving a new door with a smaller doggy door so Nick doesn't keep sneaking in. We don't want to tell him that we are kicking him out because we are worried that he'll steal things prior to that. I can't wait for the day he is out, he is very toxic in our house. I can't even talk with him civily (sp?) even if he is being polite and cordial. About 6 months ago our house was "burglarized" and several items stolen. We are pretty convinced Nick conveniently left the house open so his friends could steal the items (because he actually went to school that day). Well, the other day I noticed my camera missing (this is my 2nd one). I think he or his friends stole it and I've accused him of such. I have several events coming up which I want to take pictures, but no camera. I think the missing camera has put me over the edge. I hate living my life in which I have to lock things up in my own house. Tomorrow would have been his graduation from high school. I am very depressed whenever I hear about anyone's kid graduating, or see anything in the local paper about awards, etc. of kids that were in his class since kindergarden. I feel like hiding under the blankets during graduation season. In all honesty, what's working best for my husband and I right now, is to ignore Nick and his comings & goings. I know it sounds wrong, but he comes home way after we are asleep, gets up late morning, supposedly looks for work (I don't believe it), and is gone before we get home. Sometimes he doesn't even come home or call. It's pretty sad that we aren't worried about our child at all when he doesn't show up and are pretty relieved that we don't have to deal with him (I guess that's our detachment process). We give him rules & time frames and consequences, but he doesn't adhere to the rules or consequences. I just can't stand to see him right now. I love my son with all my heart and only wish good things for him. But he just isn't the kid I used to know or raised. All the words that come out of his mouth are , he can talk a good talk. We have a family cruise booked for next book that we've been planning for 1 1/2 years. I just cancelled his passage last week because I don't want to spend my hard earned money on a luxurious trip for him when he can't give us the time of day. We just need to make sure our house is closed up tightly while we are gone because I don't want him to have access without us there. Sorry for ranting & raving. I've been talking with friends, etc. and they are supportive to a point. But they don't have the same situations as you all do, and I feel so welcomed here.