That's ok. I copied your post and put it here.
PEG'S POST:::
Bail is 1750.00
I bailed him out a few months ago(only 250.00 bail then) and he didn't show up for court
I understand that would be better than jail and I hate the thought of him there but I can't do it.
I tried to get him to take some help but he doesn't want it.
How can I cope with my heart breaking, I feel I am hanging on by a thread.
Good Morning, Peg :O)
As Recovering suggested, the Serenity Prayer will help you cope with the minute to minute horror of what is happening. It will help when you wake up in the night and can't stop worrying, too. Keep it in your purse on an index card. It will function as a talisman during the day when you are at work and can't take that minute to say it aloud.
When that prayer was suggested to me, I was like, "I know that prayer already!" The lady who suggested it wrote it out for me and told me to read it until I got it. I did. It works. I will post it here for you again, though I know Recovering already did.
Read it until it works, Peg.
It will give you a place to stand.
God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
The Courage to change the things I can;
And the Wisdom to know the difference.
You did the right thing by not posting bail. I know that is so hard. But we are in a battle here, to try to save our children from themselves. The parents on this site are fighting that battle, too. We will help you learn what you need to know.
:O)
At the bottoms of our posts, many of us post links to sites we find helpful. There are links at the bottom of my posts, too. When I was where you are now, this information helped me survive.
As Recovering alluded to Peg, our battle is twofold: To save our children, and to save ourselves. The first time I went through this, I spiraled into a depression in which I obsessed over ways to save my own son. I went on this crazy search for how and why it happened, which vitamins counteracted drug use, what treatments and treatment centers and ~ oh Lord, on and on and on.
Plus, I was in therapy for such a long time.
I began to heal when I realized, through something one of the other moms on the site had to say, that my son too, had been raised better than to do what he was doing. The more I thought about our situation in that light, the stronger and healthier I became.
You need to understand that too, Peg.
Your son was raised to know better than to do what he is doing.
A mother's words have more power than we know. Once you can see the truth that your son DOES know better, you can tell that to him with utter conviction. You know who he was meant to be. You, and only you, can tell him that. It's like holding a light for him, Peg. Drug use clouds the senses, and the kids get lost in who they think they must be, because they are using drugs.
Vicious circle.
You are his mother.
Tell him a different truth.
Another thing we found helpful was: "I love you too much to watch you self-destruct."
So, that's what I know.
"You were raised better than to do what you are doing."
"I love you too much to watch you self-destruct."
Read through posts here and in Substance Abuse, Peg. When you need a little break from the horror of the thing, try Watercooler, Recipe Archives, or the Healthy Living.
You will make it through this. One way or another, you will pull your son through it, too.
Wishing you well and sending strength, Peg.
I am sorry this happened to you, and to your son.
Barbara