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taking the brunt
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 170831" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>What a day! It sounds like you have just been catching it from every angle. The "your Mom says..." approach- my Mom does that with difficult child. I think it is when people don't want to be the bad guy themselves. But Geez- that is difficult child's father making you out to be the "rule maker". I bet difficult child knows better- he knows there is more to you than that. Will difficult child talk to anyone about what is going on with him? Not necessarily a therapist- but anyone?</p><p></p><p>As far as your parents, I don't know what to say. Sometimes i think once we are grown, parents become too self absorbed and too detached and forget that we have feelings, too. It's almost like some of them think we are here to meet their every need and want and just emotionally give to them continuously without them ever thinking that we are going through things, too. I don't really understand your parents on this, Steely. But I don't understand my Mom either.</p><p></p><p>As far as death and the looks of things- My dad died when I was five in a tragic accident. I went through a few years where I could not quit visualizing what this looked like. It was horrible. Force yourself to stop. The images will last much longer than your curiosity. With me, as a child, I also felt like I should feel the pain he felt and wanted to know the pain he felt. Don't go there, Steely, it is self-destructive. It won't and can't help her and it won't and can't help you. </p><p></p><p>So, no more internet (except this board) for a while ok? Read a book- and not one about death..</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 170831, member: 3699"] What a day! It sounds like you have just been catching it from every angle. The "your Mom says..." approach- my Mom does that with difficult child. I think it is when people don't want to be the bad guy themselves. But Geez- that is difficult child's father making you out to be the "rule maker". I bet difficult child knows better- he knows there is more to you than that. Will difficult child talk to anyone about what is going on with him? Not necessarily a therapist- but anyone? As far as your parents, I don't know what to say. Sometimes i think once we are grown, parents become too self absorbed and too detached and forget that we have feelings, too. It's almost like some of them think we are here to meet their every need and want and just emotionally give to them continuously without them ever thinking that we are going through things, too. I don't really understand your parents on this, Steely. But I don't understand my Mom either. As far as death and the looks of things- My dad died when I was five in a tragic accident. I went through a few years where I could not quit visualizing what this looked like. It was horrible. Force yourself to stop. The images will last much longer than your curiosity. With me, as a child, I also felt like I should feel the pain he felt and wanted to know the pain he felt. Don't go there, Steely, it is self-destructive. It won't and can't help her and it won't and can't help you. So, no more internet (except this board) for a while ok? Read a book- and not one about death.. [/QUOTE]
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