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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 426322" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>We have a loose schedule - that is we do the same things in more or less the same order most days, particularly around bedtime - but I really don't want to get into a rigid one. Firstly because it just would not be practical with our lifestyle - for example the summer holidays (all of July and August) are coming up and we will go to Spain and then Morocco, as we always do in the summer. And there, all schedules are out the window! I cannot enforce that his Moroccan family do things my European way - it would not be reasonable or realistic. Just some compromises, that's all (like trying to get them to brush his teeth - shocking as it sounds to us, many Moroccans do not do this regularly...) And then, I would prefer that J could somehow learn to accept to go with the flow a bit more - this is what will help him in life, not doing things to some rigid programme. To be able to learn to cope with change without exploding... I would really like him to have those skills. Not that the way I went about things the other evening was helpful in teaching them to him. But there are ways.</p><p>He was so sweet this morning... I woke up sneezing and not feeling very well and he insisted on "taking care" of me - going to fetch tissues, covering me up with a blanket, patting me on the back and saying "You go to sleep, Mummy!" And then later, when I'd got up, we played a game (it will sound strange!) where he just goes off into peals of delighted giggles and it is really so sweet to see - he says "Do you love me?" and I have to say something along the lines of "No, sorry" or "Hmmm, let me think about it - no, I don't!" and he just finds this enormously amusing. All of it, I hasten to add, is accompanied by my kissing him and giving him hugs as I say I don't love him...</p><p>At times like that... he really is a Gift from God.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 426322, member: 11227"] We have a loose schedule - that is we do the same things in more or less the same order most days, particularly around bedtime - but I really don't want to get into a rigid one. Firstly because it just would not be practical with our lifestyle - for example the summer holidays (all of July and August) are coming up and we will go to Spain and then Morocco, as we always do in the summer. And there, all schedules are out the window! I cannot enforce that his Moroccan family do things my European way - it would not be reasonable or realistic. Just some compromises, that's all (like trying to get them to brush his teeth - shocking as it sounds to us, many Moroccans do not do this regularly...) And then, I would prefer that J could somehow learn to accept to go with the flow a bit more - this is what will help him in life, not doing things to some rigid programme. To be able to learn to cope with change without exploding... I would really like him to have those skills. Not that the way I went about things the other evening was helpful in teaching them to him. But there are ways. He was so sweet this morning... I woke up sneezing and not feeling very well and he insisted on "taking care" of me - going to fetch tissues, covering me up with a blanket, patting me on the back and saying "You go to sleep, Mummy!" And then later, when I'd got up, we played a game (it will sound strange!) where he just goes off into peals of delighted giggles and it is really so sweet to see - he says "Do you love me?" and I have to say something along the lines of "No, sorry" or "Hmmm, let me think about it - no, I don't!" and he just finds this enormously amusing. All of it, I hasten to add, is accompanied by my kissing him and giving him hugs as I say I don't love him... At times like that... he really is a Gift from God. [/QUOTE]
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