teacher expects a smooth transition...lol yeah, okay!

ready2run

New Member
So i went through difficult child's back pack today and i found a note from his teacher from friday. i found it weird that the note was stapled shut because she never does that so i open it and there is a photo of her and a letter to me saying that it was nice to get to know me and difficult child and thanking us for the chance to experience working with difficult child but that she is moving away. she also says that she expects the transition to go smoothly as the new teacher is prepared to deal with him and that she is making sure to pass on everything she knows to him. ugh... and to make matters worse, the EA also retired so now difficult child will be heading back after the new year to a classroom where he doesn't know any of the adults. i am not even going to send him until i can get a meeting in to meet these people and prepare them for him. it took him and the teacher 2 1/2 months to get used to each other enough to actually be able to work together reasonably and she thinks she can just be replaced like that? sure! now i am going to have to retrain a whole new teacher and ea! i asked difficult child if teacher mentioned anything to the class about moving he said no and then had a big fit about how could she leave him and he's going to miss her. i get that she is moving and these things happen. her husband has been deployed and he is an american so she is off to be with him now that he is returning but really, to even say that it should go smoothly just shows how the people we think understand our kids don't necessarily. of course it's not going to go smoothly, it's a Special Education class!! the kids aren't in there for being easy going and well adjusted! now forget about telling him EA is suddenly retiring as well. i feel like just sending him to school and letting them deal with the fall out of that and just conveniently not being home to come get him that day.
 

buddy

New Member
absolutely shocked that they didn't do any prep for this. you are right to let them fumble without difficult child, and you can meet with them and make sure they really are set up. no way the routine, words, smells, anything will be the same. she will bring her own posters, desk will be different and hopefully she wont move the kids desks. or change how the room is set up. yikes. id be angry with admin over this one,.
 
B

Bunny

Guest
I can just see how "smoothly" this is going to go! They should have given you more notice about the teacher leaving. I can understand a sudden retirement, but the teacher and the admin must have know that the teacher was going to be moving after the December holidays. They should have known that the kids needed to be prepped for this. At the very least have the teacher explain it to the kids. Maybe even have the new teacher come into the classroom (if possible) so that she could at least meet the class and the kids could put a face to their new teacher.
 

Malika

Well-Known Member
This does seem very insensitive - bizarrely so. Was the husband suddenly called away, I wonder, so that there was no time to put in place the normal hand-over arrangements? I know how difficult the unknown and transitions are with our children. Is there anything you can do to get him used to the new situation before it occurs - I usually find that talking about changes helps my son adapt to them but I understand that this double loss is going to be very disorienting and upsetting for him. Sudden and unexpected change is part of life, of course, but I'm sorry it has had to happen this way for your boy.
 

ready2run

New Member
i still haven't told him that the EA is retired. ugh... i don't know anything about the situation because everyone is on holidays and won't be back until next monday. i will not be taking him to school that day. the school is pretty good at meeting my demands though, so i'm sure i can get a meeting in that day or the next at the latest to find out why i wasn't warned ahead of time and who the new teacher/ea are then hopefully i'll be able to get difficult child in for some one to one time with them so he can feel more comfortable before he is alone with them. the thing that upsets me is that i have talked to the teacher everyday, and she never mentioned it to me. she emails me all the time, she even tells me about other personal stuff like how she is trying to adopt a baby and stuff but she can't tell me she is moving? i don't get it. difficult child tends to act out pretty badly when he had different teachers/ea's than usual which usually results in a meltdown that could be violent. i will have to tell the teacher he/she can not rearrange the classroom. it is set up as it is because of the safety plan the teacher put in place for difficult child if he meltsdown because he does become violent and they have had to 'evacuate' the other kids to protect them and the ea/teacher have him in the back corner by the door where teachers desk is beside him and eas desk is in front of him so if he goes off unexpectedly the other kids won't be right near him.
 

DDD

Well-Known Member
You have my sympathies. I've been there. In the 60's I literally had to sell my house to get money for GFGmom's educational and other needs. Found a perfect private school run by highly educated, caring people. There was a school Christmas Party on Friday night and in Saturday's mail a card arrived with a sincere note of regret...the school was closed for good. They were pivotal in her development but the "kicked in the gut" feeling was rough. I'm sure you will find the best way to cope. Boy, life is hard. DDD
 

exhausted

Active Member
It is hard for you and your son to lose a teacher that is finially working for you. On the other hand she had to go. Telling all the kids at Christmas time would be a hard decision. esp. since they are young and many probably stuggle with emotional regulation. I understand her decision though not the one I would have made. It is hard on teachers when they have to leave these kids. I became so attached when I had a Sp. Ed. unit. Most of the Sp. Ed. teachetrs do and I'm sure that she was just hoping that she had affected a change with difficult child (always a hope on our part once we see change in our kids). He'll adjust with your support. I'm praying for a super replacement teacher!
 

rejectedmom

New Member
so very sorry for all this. I would prep difficult child as best you can. Do the best you can to make sure the new people are aware of the special safety plan in place and take it seriously. Then I woud send difficult child to class and let them figure the rest out on their own. Sometimes our difficult child's do susrprise us by adapting when we don't think they can. I hope that is the case for yours this time.
 
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