Thank you all.
difficult child was very cranky and in pain, but refused to put ice on his ribs in the nurse's ofc. He wanted to sit in the car while we talked. I said no, but allowed him to get a reading book from the car and come back and sit in a classroom. I also told him I'd take him for a burger afterward and he calmed down. I think he thought he was in a heap of trouble and we were just going to badmouth him the entire time. I can understand that!
I brought lots of handouts and everyone was happy to take them home. I printed out a special handout for the math and science teacher, with-a list of books that are useful for kids with-Executive Dysfunction (I was calling it Executive Function Disorder
) and she pointed to the book at the top of the list and said, "I use that one! It's on the list! It's at the top of the list!" She was so excited.
Good thing, because difficult child hates math and he can use all the help he can get.
The resource teacher was there and she helped facilitate, along with-the English teacher, homeroom teacher, math teacher and myself.
One thing they noticed was that when difficult child is supposed to pass his notebook to the person next to him, or to use the book for an open book test, is that he does not. He just keeps to himself. They said he shoots himself in the foot doing -- or not doing -- certain things. I told them that he has some social anxiety and he doesn't want to lose face. The teacher said, "But he asks questions in class," and I responded, "That's because you're an authority figure and not a peer." I added that he never, ever calls his friends at home. They call him, or I have to make the call, but he freaks out when he has to call someone. They all said, "Ooohhhh."
I told them we would work on it in counseling.
I also mentioned that the goal sheet was too overwhelming for him. It seemed easy for the rest of us, but when I broke it down into components, they understood.
The resource teacher said they have no individual to follow IEP kids like the public school system, which is fine, I added, because it would mortify difficult child anyway.
The math and science teacher seems to be having the most issues with-him, mostly, because he jumps into things and doesn't follow instructions and messes it up for himself. (No, really?) So we are all going to work on that.
He got 100% on a quiz the other day, but still has a zero on homework. So he's got a brain but he just doesn't follow through. The teacher said she'd noticed that when she's right there with-him, he's fine, but if she's teaching at the blackboard in front of the entire class, he tends to miss things. (Uh, yeah ... As a side note, the Zimbabwe guy I was helping this summer with-his memoir said he does not like the way Americans teach at the blackboard. He said all of his teachers taught at the front, and for every single point they made, they walked up and down the rows and actually put their fingers on the kids' notebooks to make sure the info was correct. Very hands-on. And he said it makes a huge difference.)
I told the teachers we took away one of the computers, and would take away football if necessary, but they didn't think that was necessary--just a close eye and consistency so he doesn't fall behind again. He is caught up now.
We also talked about issues such as lying to cover his b*typical teen, and also, that he was allowed to eat his friends' snacks, and I said he will say anything to be allowed to eat cookies and things with-wheat. I said I'd send in gluten free cookies for the whole class whenever needed, and the resource teacher is going to buy fruit rollups and similar snacks to keep on hand.
Lots of energy and info. Now, for the follow-through ...