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Teacher on the warpath
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 326380" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Yes, it IS a lot of work sometimes but te way I figure it, that effort now will save me a great deal more effort later on. And frankly, there were times when I didn't want to face that teacher because I'd had a gutful.</p><p></p><p>Interesting recent event - Saturday was a street fair in the village, Saturday mornings tend to be busy social occasions anyway as people who work through the week go and do their morning shopping, or just go have coffee in one of the cafes we have here. I wentto the fair at about midday, difficult child 3 followed down on his bike. But one of his old teachers stopped to talk to him. I was frankly amazed - she was perhaps the most difficult of the lot, was always very negative and unreasonably strict with him while at the same time doing nothing to prevent the constant hassling ("needling" - literally) from other kids that would set difficult child 3 off.</p><p>But she asked him how he was going, was pleased that he was doing so well (he's halfway through the School Certificate now - a lot of people never thought he'd get this far). I think she must have seen his interview on TV; maybe the photos of the imjuries he got when he was attacked, hit home with her and she realised how much he's had to put up with. I had another couple of people (other parents) come and talk to me about the show, nobody has criticised us for the way the show focussed on the bullying, but then those families haven't talked to me about it at all yet.</p><p></p><p>But listening to this teacher say to difficult child 3, "It's always good for me to hear how well my students are doing, I am very proud of you," was wonderful. This teacher has since retired (was made to after a classroom meltdown last year) and I think has mellowed a fair bit. Her husband is stiull working at the local school (so, husband, now you know who I'm taling about - amazing, huh?).</p><p></p><p>I think it was very positive for difficult child 3 to hear this.</p><p></p><p>The thing is - this teacher, back when she had difficult child 3, was very difficult to deal with. She could be hostile to me, she had been the one who got "showed up" by difficult child 3 when he was in Kindergarten and she ignored the advice to not make sudden loud noises near difficult child 3 and rang a handbell right behind him, to get yelled at in front of the rest of the playground full of kids by this little pipsqueak.</p><p>And here she actually came up to difficult child 3 to say something nice - I was delighted and amazed.</p><p></p><p>I do think the fact that we used the book so thoroughly, is a big part of how this could happen. She learned (without getting it from me to the face, so she could snarl if she felt like it) and I learned her viewpoint without having the chance to bite her head off as she said stuff. We each had the luxury of being able to take a deep breath and write a considered reply. Because we live inthe same small village, it's been really important for me to stay on speaking terms with people who otherwise I have felt hostile towards.</p><p></p><p>So yes - it can be hard work, but there are a lot of advantages, and it pays off, sometimes years later!</p><p></p><p>Another quick point - when we transferred difficult child 3 to another school (one where they actually try to help the kids and not just cram them into little boxes) I took the Communnication Book with me. I wanted to show them the book to say, "I require this to be done," but I watched the faces of the prospective class teacher and the school principal, as they flicked through the book. I saw them stop at one particular entry (where I felt the teacher, the one we met on Saturday, had really showed her deep bias and lack of understanding) and I saw the looks that passed between the principal and new class teacher - it clearly said, "Wow, she wasn't kidding about this boy getting a hard time!"</p><p></p><p>So the Book meant that the message got through loud, clear and FAST.</p><p></p><p>I also would take the book to the doctor appointments (psychiatrist and therapist). Again - it's the fastest way to show what has been going on.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 326380, member: 1991"] Yes, it IS a lot of work sometimes but te way I figure it, that effort now will save me a great deal more effort later on. And frankly, there were times when I didn't want to face that teacher because I'd had a gutful. Interesting recent event - Saturday was a street fair in the village, Saturday mornings tend to be busy social occasions anyway as people who work through the week go and do their morning shopping, or just go have coffee in one of the cafes we have here. I wentto the fair at about midday, difficult child 3 followed down on his bike. But one of his old teachers stopped to talk to him. I was frankly amazed - she was perhaps the most difficult of the lot, was always very negative and unreasonably strict with him while at the same time doing nothing to prevent the constant hassling ("needling" - literally) from other kids that would set difficult child 3 off. But she asked him how he was going, was pleased that he was doing so well (he's halfway through the School Certificate now - a lot of people never thought he'd get this far). I think she must have seen his interview on TV; maybe the photos of the imjuries he got when he was attacked, hit home with her and she realised how much he's had to put up with. I had another couple of people (other parents) come and talk to me about the show, nobody has criticised us for the way the show focussed on the bullying, but then those families haven't talked to me about it at all yet. But listening to this teacher say to difficult child 3, "It's always good for me to hear how well my students are doing, I am very proud of you," was wonderful. This teacher has since retired (was made to after a classroom meltdown last year) and I think has mellowed a fair bit. Her husband is stiull working at the local school (so, husband, now you know who I'm taling about - amazing, huh?). I think it was very positive for difficult child 3 to hear this. The thing is - this teacher, back when she had difficult child 3, was very difficult to deal with. She could be hostile to me, she had been the one who got "showed up" by difficult child 3 when he was in Kindergarten and she ignored the advice to not make sudden loud noises near difficult child 3 and rang a handbell right behind him, to get yelled at in front of the rest of the playground full of kids by this little pipsqueak. And here she actually came up to difficult child 3 to say something nice - I was delighted and amazed. I do think the fact that we used the book so thoroughly, is a big part of how this could happen. She learned (without getting it from me to the face, so she could snarl if she felt like it) and I learned her viewpoint without having the chance to bite her head off as she said stuff. We each had the luxury of being able to take a deep breath and write a considered reply. Because we live inthe same small village, it's been really important for me to stay on speaking terms with people who otherwise I have felt hostile towards. So yes - it can be hard work, but there are a lot of advantages, and it pays off, sometimes years later! Another quick point - when we transferred difficult child 3 to another school (one where they actually try to help the kids and not just cram them into little boxes) I took the Communnication Book with me. I wanted to show them the book to say, "I require this to be done," but I watched the faces of the prospective class teacher and the school principal, as they flicked through the book. I saw them stop at one particular entry (where I felt the teacher, the one we met on Saturday, had really showed her deep bias and lack of understanding) and I saw the looks that passed between the principal and new class teacher - it clearly said, "Wow, she wasn't kidding about this boy getting a hard time!" So the Book meant that the message got through loud, clear and FAST. I also would take the book to the doctor appointments (psychiatrist and therapist). Again - it's the fastest way to show what has been going on. Marg [/QUOTE]
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