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Teacher trashes my daughter UPDATE
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 117362" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>This is what I classify as institutionalised bullying, when a person in a responsible position of authority abuses that position purely to make himself seem more superior and the subordinate person more unable to control their situation.</p><p></p><p>Not acceptable. Not in any book.</p><p></p><p>I had a school principal like this, when I was in primary school. One of the boys had not done his homework (the principal was also our geography teacher) and so this principal had the boy come out to the front of the class and read the definition of "dolt" out of the dictionary, to the whole class (the boy's surname included "dolt"). I remember watching the boy's face, seeing his ears go bright red and how for the rest of the day he wouldn't look at anybody.</p><p></p><p>This same teacher had his wife take the girls for sewing class. His wife treated me much the same, would belittle me in front of the class, taught the bullies the word "exhibitionist" and told them to apply it to me. Considering I was very shy and retiring back then, it was very damaging. But there were no other adult witnesses, so we had absolutely no recourse, because kids were simply not believed.</p><p></p><p>However, I grew up knowing that this was unacceptable behaviour and glad that NOW, this sort of thing doesn't happen. Or, SHOULD not.</p><p></p><p>MWM, when you take this up with the officials, be prepared for them to say to you, "Oh, Nicole's such a sensitive thing, she obviously misunderstood; the teacher was just saying how glad he was that she wasn't so sick after all. he had been worried when she was absent because he knows she can get these odd infections, but was making light of it once he realised she wasn't as sick as you thought she might have been."</p><p></p><p>I will lay odds that they try this on. </p><p></p><p>And if you have only Nicole's word, it becomes "he said, she said" and they will do NOTHING. </p><p></p><p>So, can you find another student (preferably BEFORE the teacher has a chance to rewrite history) and get a statement?</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3 had a problem Geography teacher last year, she was polite and didn't make personal remarks but she also made absolutely no allowances whatsoever in her expectations of him. Despite his autism, etc, she expected him to write long and abstract dissertations on global change. Because a number of kids at the same correspondence school also have autism, they also had problems. We got to the point where we said, "We are refusing to do any more Geography work, every other subject is suffering and he is learning nothing in Geography because it is not modified to his ability, as the school has promised."</p><p>We found out at the end of the year, when we looked at the list of staff at the school - she is gone. We had the chance to speak to other kids and families, heard similar tales, and strongly suspect the teacher was transferred back into mainstream.</p><p>The thing is, this teacher was NOT rude, was not making personal remarks, was actually being pleasant to talk to - but was just totally inflexible and unrealistic in her expectations of the students. And the school got rid of her.</p><p>How much more reason does your child's school have, to at the very least reprimand this teacher? That is totally unacceptable, to make personal remarks about a student, in areas not of his concern in any way. And it sounds like this guy has history, he's been a behaviour problem himself for some time.</p><p></p><p>Go for it, as far as you can. And if you can't take things as far as you want, at least make sure this bloke knows you have his measure. And seriously, I would be cultivating spies in her classroom. We did, for difficult child 3 - they stood us in great stead. The problem teachers didn't know where I was getting my information from, so they had to behave ALL the time. And if it was difficult child 3 misbehaving - the spies told on him, too, so I could deal with him more directly.</p><p></p><p>All praise to skulduggery! (but where possible, do not reveal your sources - certainly not unless you have their permission first).</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 117362, member: 1991"] This is what I classify as institutionalised bullying, when a person in a responsible position of authority abuses that position purely to make himself seem more superior and the subordinate person more unable to control their situation. Not acceptable. Not in any book. I had a school principal like this, when I was in primary school. One of the boys had not done his homework (the principal was also our geography teacher) and so this principal had the boy come out to the front of the class and read the definition of "dolt" out of the dictionary, to the whole class (the boy's surname included "dolt"). I remember watching the boy's face, seeing his ears go bright red and how for the rest of the day he wouldn't look at anybody. This same teacher had his wife take the girls for sewing class. His wife treated me much the same, would belittle me in front of the class, taught the bullies the word "exhibitionist" and told them to apply it to me. Considering I was very shy and retiring back then, it was very damaging. But there were no other adult witnesses, so we had absolutely no recourse, because kids were simply not believed. However, I grew up knowing that this was unacceptable behaviour and glad that NOW, this sort of thing doesn't happen. Or, SHOULD not. MWM, when you take this up with the officials, be prepared for them to say to you, "Oh, Nicole's such a sensitive thing, she obviously misunderstood; the teacher was just saying how glad he was that she wasn't so sick after all. he had been worried when she was absent because he knows she can get these odd infections, but was making light of it once he realised she wasn't as sick as you thought she might have been." I will lay odds that they try this on. And if you have only Nicole's word, it becomes "he said, she said" and they will do NOTHING. So, can you find another student (preferably BEFORE the teacher has a chance to rewrite history) and get a statement? difficult child 3 had a problem Geography teacher last year, she was polite and didn't make personal remarks but she also made absolutely no allowances whatsoever in her expectations of him. Despite his autism, etc, she expected him to write long and abstract dissertations on global change. Because a number of kids at the same correspondence school also have autism, they also had problems. We got to the point where we said, "We are refusing to do any more Geography work, every other subject is suffering and he is learning nothing in Geography because it is not modified to his ability, as the school has promised." We found out at the end of the year, when we looked at the list of staff at the school - she is gone. We had the chance to speak to other kids and families, heard similar tales, and strongly suspect the teacher was transferred back into mainstream. The thing is, this teacher was NOT rude, was not making personal remarks, was actually being pleasant to talk to - but was just totally inflexible and unrealistic in her expectations of the students. And the school got rid of her. How much more reason does your child's school have, to at the very least reprimand this teacher? That is totally unacceptable, to make personal remarks about a student, in areas not of his concern in any way. And it sounds like this guy has history, he's been a behaviour problem himself for some time. Go for it, as far as you can. And if you can't take things as far as you want, at least make sure this bloke knows you have his measure. And seriously, I would be cultivating spies in her classroom. We did, for difficult child 3 - they stood us in great stead. The problem teachers didn't know where I was getting my information from, so they had to behave ALL the time. And if it was difficult child 3 misbehaving - the spies told on him, too, so I could deal with him more directly. All praise to skulduggery! (but where possible, do not reveal your sources - certainly not unless you have their permission first). Marg [/QUOTE]
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