I've never been able to get him evaluated because I didn't know where to begin setting that up, I don't know what our insurance "allows" and I don't know what specific sort of doctor I need to ask to see.
So many questions ... I'm sure you guys are sick of me by now. lol!
ODS sounds exactly like jal's DS. Same behaviors that started at around 18 months of age. By the time ODS had entered kindergarten, he had been "removed" (that equals being kicked out) of 13 different daycare centers due largely to the danger he was to the other kids. I can vividly remember once center in particular where he lasted ONE DAY. I dropped him off that morning, and when I came that afternoon to get him, they told me he wasn't allowed to come back.
Some of the behaviors that he presented back then were: biting, kicking, punching (he was almost charged with assault at the age of 6 because he punched a teacher in the face), and destroying personal property. He is no longer AS physical as he was, but he is ALWAYS angry - at everything. And he argues with everyone constantly. If I were to tell him that the sky was blue, he would argue until his dying breath that the sky is red - even if the truth is staring him right in the face.
Now, aside from the anger and arguing, he also doesn't sleep consistently through the night. When he wakes up (at all hours), he binges on food - it doesn't matter what it is, he'll eat it. He also does not take care of his own hygiene. His nails are dirty and black, he prefers to wear dirty clothes, and he doesn't wipe himself (or flush) after using the bathroom. I used to babysit my nephew (who is only 4), but I had to stop when ODS told teachers at school that he was going to kill him and throw his body in a dumpster.
I worry about what will happen when YDS grows up to be "annoying" to ODS - what will he say about him? I already can't leave the two of them alone together at all. period. He also REFUSES to do his homework. He went from being an A/B student in kindergarten and 1st grade to now because grades. Not horribly bad, but they're slipping only because he will NOT do homework. It doesn't matter how long I make him sit at the table, he just will not do it. No one will babysit him long enough for my husband and I to even go out to eat. He's a nuisance to the other kids in the neighborhood - no one knocks on our door asking for him to play with them, no one calls the house for him, no friends invite him to parties or anything. He's bossy, controlling, and jealous of everything. Yesterday, he told the in-home counselor that he wished we (his parents) would get in a car accident and die because we "annoy" him about doing chores.
I just feel like I can't do it anymore. If I'm nice to him, or if I'm mean to him - the behavior doesn't change. He's not affectionate to us, doesn't hug us, doesn't even look us in the eye when we talk to him ... it's like he lives in his own little world and we're just another couple of people that he wants to see dead.
So ...
If anyone has any idea what sort of doctor I should be looking for, or what I should ask for specifically when I call our health insurance looking for referrals, I would LOVE to hear your recommendations. I'm hanging on by a thread here and I feel like I'm drowning.