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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 533013" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>Hi sambina!</p><p></p><p>Welcome to our world... I am glad you found us, but sorry you needed to.</p><p></p><p>Of course I don't know the <em>whole</em> story (who ever does except those who are living it?), but I was thinking Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) before I even got that far. Bio parents (moms and dads) tend to have a HUGE impact on kids - even if, and sometimes especially if, there's no relationship or they feel abandoned. Onyxx has issues with this - her bio mom threatened to abandon her more than once, DID when she was really needed, and then passed away, a permanent abandonment. In a moment of quiet discussion, Onyxx mentioned that she felt that bio betrayed her by neglecting her own health. And... She had me, and knew I cared, but I'm not her bio, Know what I mean?? And husband was afraid to <em>be</em> a parent. So hers spiralled.</p><p></p><p>Court is going to be a royal PITA for you. been there done that as stepmom and it was always really dumb stuff. But - "basically no relationship" for many years will NOT help her gain custody. Being that far behind in support won't either. Then there's her home situation. So... What does "basically no relationship" mean?</p><p></p><p>What is this resident summer job? Curious, there. And as for the dynamic being different... Onyxx was gone for 10 months. About 4 months in I noticed - husband and I weren't fighting. Life was happier and calmer. Onyxx is home now, has been for about 5 weeks. And... It's not calmer and happier. It's not as horrid as it <strong>was</strong> but...</p><p></p><p>Onyxx is just like your difficult child in ways - snows anyone not living with her. Manipulative, deceitful, violent, and so on. Better now, after treatment, but - I have PTSD from before.</p><p></p><p>ODD... Many of us here don't subscribe to ODD as a diagnosis on its own. Basically ODD is "your kid won't follow the rules and do what he is told and supposed to do". If he <em>did</em> follow rules and do what he was told and was supposed to do, we wouldn't have any reason for therapy and therefore a diagnosis, right? (I stole this and paraphrased from another member, DaisyFace - she knows from whence she speaks!) As for sociopath - possible, but in one session? That seems a little soon...</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /> Welcome. You'll like it here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 533013, member: 6705"] Hi sambina! Welcome to our world... I am glad you found us, but sorry you needed to. Of course I don't know the [I]whole[/I] story (who ever does except those who are living it?), but I was thinking Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) before I even got that far. Bio parents (moms and dads) tend to have a HUGE impact on kids - even if, and sometimes especially if, there's no relationship or they feel abandoned. Onyxx has issues with this - her bio mom threatened to abandon her more than once, DID when she was really needed, and then passed away, a permanent abandonment. In a moment of quiet discussion, Onyxx mentioned that she felt that bio betrayed her by neglecting her own health. And... She had me, and knew I cared, but I'm not her bio, Know what I mean?? And husband was afraid to [I]be[/I] a parent. So hers spiralled. Court is going to be a royal PITA for you. been there done that as stepmom and it was always really dumb stuff. But - "basically no relationship" for many years will NOT help her gain custody. Being that far behind in support won't either. Then there's her home situation. So... What does "basically no relationship" mean? What is this resident summer job? Curious, there. And as for the dynamic being different... Onyxx was gone for 10 months. About 4 months in I noticed - husband and I weren't fighting. Life was happier and calmer. Onyxx is home now, has been for about 5 weeks. And... It's not calmer and happier. It's not as horrid as it [B]was[/B] but... Onyxx is just like your difficult child in ways - snows anyone not living with her. Manipulative, deceitful, violent, and so on. Better now, after treatment, but - I have PTSD from before. ODD... Many of us here don't subscribe to ODD as a diagnosis on its own. Basically ODD is "your kid won't follow the rules and do what he is told and supposed to do". If he [I]did[/I] follow rules and do what he was told and was supposed to do, we wouldn't have any reason for therapy and therefore a diagnosis, right? (I stole this and paraphrased from another member, DaisyFace - she knows from whence she speaks!) As for sociopath - possible, but in one session? That seems a little soon... :hugs: Welcome. You'll like it here. [/QUOTE]
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