Thanks for the Board support!

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by DDD, Sep 8, 2011.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    After ten years of substance abuse, after six years with Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) symptoms, after trying to cope positively with frontal lob damage easy child/difficult child will now be identified as difficult child. I've kept the easy child attached to his label because he has never shown violence, blatant disrespect or flagrant disregard for me and husband.

    I dsicoverd that my two valuable pieces of jewelry (material and emotional value) are missing. Yes, I know addicts do those things but it's never been "in my house". It is remotely possible (very remotely) that he had some sorry friends in the house. I don't think so. When I confronted him he did not admit the theft nor did he blame it on anyone else. I'm in shock. I'm assuming he hocked them for booze. So far neither he nor I have brought up the subject again.

    It really helped me to know that you all were there to support me. If x were true or y was true or even z were true to the circumstances I'd kick him out and detach. Obviously I'm not going to ignore it but my choices are limited by his actual disability. Anyway, thanks for being there. DDD
     
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    oh ddd...gosh Im sorry. I think knowing this happened by someone we love and loved, support through thick and thin, give our very soul for, is what hurts the most. It would be horrible to come in and find your house robbed by a gang of thieves but you dont have that emotional attachment to the robbers. Its easy to call the cops and make a report. Not so when its your own loved one. I understand.
     
  3. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    I am so so sorry. Please do file a police report, they will automatically notify the local pawn shops in case an item meeting that description shows up.

    Check Craigslist and Ebay too.

    I know it must feel like a kick in the stomach. Ugh.

    Get a lock for your bedroom door so you can lock it when you are not there.

    And yes it's terrible that you would have to do that, but it's a small price to pay for peace of mind.

    XXOO
     
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Oh man that just blows all to hades. It's one thing to know it happens, quite another to experience it first hand by a loved one.

    If he hocked it for booze, odds are it's in a nearby pawn shop. They have to hold such things for a period of time before resell to make sure no report has been made on them. Hopefully you can get the items back. Watching craig's list and ebay is a good idea, but my bet is they're sitting at a pawn shop.....he wouldn't have wanted to wait for the cash.

    ((hugs))
     
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I haven't worn them since February. With his memory loss issues I doubt he knows "when" he made the choice. I will not file a police report on him. No, I am not weak or a blatant enabler. My circumstances are unusual and I have to go with my gut. Although the jewelry is important to me, the knowledge that he is capable of making such a decision is the painful part. I'm sure it's hard to understand. DDD
     
  6. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    DDD- you don't have to to file a police report "on him." You can simply stop by your local police station and file a report. Say you have no idea when they were taken or by whom (and you'll be telling the truth). You simply just noticed that they were gone. Last time you saw them was in February. You need a report to file an insurance claim (again, not a lie) and you want the police to watch out for them because they have sentimental value. I am sure you have had lots of people in and out of your house since Feb and IME (unfortunately) jewelry theft is incredibly common and pretty low on their investigation list.

    This way - if they show up in a pawn shop or as seized property - they will be returned to you.

    I am not ignoring your heartache and I realize getting them back isn't your primary concern. I am so so sorry that you have been hurt even further. One more thing you didn't expect or need, {{hugs}}
     
  7. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh DDD I'm so sorry. I know how painful it is to even think they would do such a thing. I keep remembering what they told us in rehab, that addicts will lie, cheat and steal to get their drug of choice and they are masters at all three. I know how heartsick I was when I discovered some really sentimental items were missing, like my dad's army medals and a coin collection he did for me. I still don't know if difficult child sold them or if some of her friends took them, but I have no doubt she was responsible.

    You have been your easy child/difficult child's biggest advocate and your judgement is the best where he is concerned. I'm sorry you are hurting and I hope somehow you can recover these items. I still remember Natalie from this board the day she discovered her difficult child took her wedding and engagement rings and threw them away. She was devastated both for losing those items and for realizing what that action meant.

    Hugs,
    Nancy
     
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