Childofmine
one day at a time
So I saw difficult child last Friday for about 45 minutes then Sunday night for his birthday dinner and then I took two pieces of mail to him yesterday and we sat in the car for about 10 minutes.
These times seeing him have been good. He does seem different, better, more serious, not talking fast, manipulating me, not asking me for things like before. He seems more mature. He is talking about a place to live, a job via Goodwill career solutions, next steps. I have said there is help once you start moving forward seriously and consistently.
But like we say, talk is cheap. It is action that counts.
So I have just tried to be pleasant and supportive and keep some emotional distance.
Today the phone rang at 7 as I was driving home from my exercise class and it was him. He said he had five hours sleep in the past two nights because there is "nowhere to lie down. I'm so exhausted Mom. Can I come over to your house for a while and sleep."
I said no. It was a very hard no to say but I stuck to it. I said it gently and clearly and I said I'm sorry. I AM sorry I have to say no to my son who I love so much when he is so tired and I have this huge house with lots of empty beds. I am so damn sorry I have to say no.
I waited a while and it was really bothering me so I called SO and we talked it up and down and the result was still the same.
I am hoping and praying this is his sick and tired and he will DO SOMETHING to change his situation. It only takes doing one thing different for all of us to effect a sea of change.
Evidently even with all of the help from nonprofits churches etc for homeless people, the police still will not allow them to sleep in public. When they do, they are searched and then rousted up and out, to keep moving. The silver lining here is that this is very hard---to find a place to sleep on the street. Maybe it is hard enough to push the decision to go to a shelter or halfway house.
It has been a long hard day for me. A day has seemed to be 48 hours long surely. I haven't heard anymore from difficult child. We hung up saying I love you. No anger, no abusive talk, no pushing.
I have just prayed all day for him and for myself. I just hope he is okay.
Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app
These times seeing him have been good. He does seem different, better, more serious, not talking fast, manipulating me, not asking me for things like before. He seems more mature. He is talking about a place to live, a job via Goodwill career solutions, next steps. I have said there is help once you start moving forward seriously and consistently.
But like we say, talk is cheap. It is action that counts.
So I have just tried to be pleasant and supportive and keep some emotional distance.
Today the phone rang at 7 as I was driving home from my exercise class and it was him. He said he had five hours sleep in the past two nights because there is "nowhere to lie down. I'm so exhausted Mom. Can I come over to your house for a while and sleep."
I said no. It was a very hard no to say but I stuck to it. I said it gently and clearly and I said I'm sorry. I AM sorry I have to say no to my son who I love so much when he is so tired and I have this huge house with lots of empty beds. I am so damn sorry I have to say no.
I waited a while and it was really bothering me so I called SO and we talked it up and down and the result was still the same.
I am hoping and praying this is his sick and tired and he will DO SOMETHING to change his situation. It only takes doing one thing different for all of us to effect a sea of change.
Evidently even with all of the help from nonprofits churches etc for homeless people, the police still will not allow them to sleep in public. When they do, they are searched and then rousted up and out, to keep moving. The silver lining here is that this is very hard---to find a place to sleep on the street. Maybe it is hard enough to push the decision to go to a shelter or halfway house.
It has been a long hard day for me. A day has seemed to be 48 hours long surely. I haven't heard anymore from difficult child. We hung up saying I love you. No anger, no abusive talk, no pushing.
I have just prayed all day for him and for myself. I just hope he is okay.
Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app