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Substance Abuse
The back half of rehab....sigh
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<blockquote data-quote="AmericanGirl" data-source="post: 519380"><p>difficult child has completed 18 days of a 28 day in patient rehab program. I wish they would keep him until he turned 30. Am dreading his release.</p><p></p><p>He asked me to come over yesterday to visit from 1-5. By 3pm he wanted to go smoke and he couldn't unless I left so he asked me to leave. I drove almost 100 miles one way to see him.</p><p></p><p>In some ways, he is doing well. In others, he has miles to go.</p><p></p><p>Examples:</p><p></p><p>1. On the phone last week, I mentioned I bought him a gift. He hounded me four times until I told him what it was - a silver cross necklace. Then he told me not to give it to him in front of the nurses. I wasn't going to give it to him until his release. The same day, I told him he was wrong to hound me. No means no. And that I needed to work on my boundaries more. Plus, if you give someone a gift, you don't have the terms of when you can give it to them dictated to you. difficult child took it well. Progress.</p><p></p><p>2. Yesterday while I was there, difficult child started to complain that I had removed the neon lights from inside "his" car (the one I bought). (When I bought the car, I told him not to attach anything to the car, etc. without my permission. He did it anyway.) I said after your DUI, I asked you to clean it out and get all your stuff out. You didn't. I asked again. You still didn't finish. I got a sack of just garbage out of the car plus a pile of personal items. The car needed to be driven because it had sat for six weeks. I tried to plug in my cell phone and found 2 adapters expanding the 12 volt connectors plus a ton of wires in my way. Yes, I removed all of them. If you had wanted them, you had two chances to remove them. difficult child expects me to replace them. $60 HUH?!? Do you have any clue as to how much cash your addiction has cost me? When will I get that back? He asked for an apology. I refused. Then he claims that I am wrong.</p><p></p><p>He still has not signed the release so they can speak with me.</p><p></p><p>He wants to move in with someone who will get out about a week before him. This will be for 8 weeks while difficult child completes the partial hospitalization program. He claims the counselor has approved them living together. Yet, I hear the other guy has an apartment, then nope, then he will stay at his brother's house, then nope, then he is looking for one. Well, if I am expected to pay for it, I need information before I commit. This will mean I have to pay $275 for difficult child to get his license back and allow him to take car. Plus rent for 8 weeks, etc. etc. A huge amount of cash.</p><p></p><p>Finally, difficult child asked me yesterday if I turned his cell phone off. No, I changed it so your calls and texts could only come to and from me. Why? Because I didn't know if you would stay in rehab or leave. You refused to sign release so they couldn't tell me if you left. I sure wasn't going to have you leave and then call some idiot to come get you. Turns out, difficult child asks nurse for phone to "get a number" and sees he has zero texts. He claims he would feel better if I changed it so he could get "supportive" messages from friends. Hmmmm, the addicts you left are gonna send you supportive messages in rehab?!? </p><p></p><p>Sigh.....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AmericanGirl, post: 519380"] difficult child has completed 18 days of a 28 day in patient rehab program. I wish they would keep him until he turned 30. Am dreading his release. He asked me to come over yesterday to visit from 1-5. By 3pm he wanted to go smoke and he couldn't unless I left so he asked me to leave. I drove almost 100 miles one way to see him. In some ways, he is doing well. In others, he has miles to go. Examples: 1. On the phone last week, I mentioned I bought him a gift. He hounded me four times until I told him what it was - a silver cross necklace. Then he told me not to give it to him in front of the nurses. I wasn't going to give it to him until his release. The same day, I told him he was wrong to hound me. No means no. And that I needed to work on my boundaries more. Plus, if you give someone a gift, you don't have the terms of when you can give it to them dictated to you. difficult child took it well. Progress. 2. Yesterday while I was there, difficult child started to complain that I had removed the neon lights from inside "his" car (the one I bought). (When I bought the car, I told him not to attach anything to the car, etc. without my permission. He did it anyway.) I said after your DUI, I asked you to clean it out and get all your stuff out. You didn't. I asked again. You still didn't finish. I got a sack of just garbage out of the car plus a pile of personal items. The car needed to be driven because it had sat for six weeks. I tried to plug in my cell phone and found 2 adapters expanding the 12 volt connectors plus a ton of wires in my way. Yes, I removed all of them. If you had wanted them, you had two chances to remove them. difficult child expects me to replace them. $60 HUH?!? Do you have any clue as to how much cash your addiction has cost me? When will I get that back? He asked for an apology. I refused. Then he claims that I am wrong. He still has not signed the release so they can speak with me. He wants to move in with someone who will get out about a week before him. This will be for 8 weeks while difficult child completes the partial hospitalization program. He claims the counselor has approved them living together. Yet, I hear the other guy has an apartment, then nope, then he will stay at his brother's house, then nope, then he is looking for one. Well, if I am expected to pay for it, I need information before I commit. This will mean I have to pay $275 for difficult child to get his license back and allow him to take car. Plus rent for 8 weeks, etc. etc. A huge amount of cash. Finally, difficult child asked me yesterday if I turned his cell phone off. No, I changed it so your calls and texts could only come to and from me. Why? Because I didn't know if you would stay in rehab or leave. You refused to sign release so they couldn't tell me if you left. I sure wasn't going to have you leave and then call some idiot to come get you. Turns out, difficult child asks nurse for phone to "get a number" and sees he has zero texts. He claims he would feel better if I changed it so he could get "supportive" messages from friends. Hmmmm, the addicts you left are gonna send you supportive messages in rehab?!? Sigh..... [/QUOTE]
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The back half of rehab....sigh
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