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Parent Emeritus
The "d" in "husband" does not stand for dear-VENT
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 490051" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>Signorina, </p><p></p><p>I am so sorry for your heartache and frustration/resentment issues. I do understand. </p><p>Both husband and I have done this along the way too...I know it's not a good thing for the difficult child's. They need the security of expectation and guidelines/rules...that is the "loving" thing to do and yet sometimes we parents fail at it. </p><p></p><p>Most recently, the rule at our house for young difficult child, was supposed to be that he would not drink or have alcohol at our home or he would be kicked out. Well...first came signs that he had been out drinking and did I kick him out? Nope, afraid he would end up in trouble again and in jail. </p><p>Then, came alcohol INTO our home. Found it in closets under cabinets even in the backyard. I poured the alcohol down the sink but did I kick him out? Nope, once again afraid that he would really lose it if he were homeless. </p><p>And sigh...Where is he today? Jail. And I couldn't stop it with any enabling. </p><p></p><p>So I get it, with my own confessions. </p><p>I hope you and husband can get back to the rules together. A mistake is "okay" if you really try hard to not make it again, right? But, trying to be buddys with our difficult child's or trying to enable in some way sure doesn't work. Wish it did. </p><p></p><p>Hugs, </p><p>LMS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 490051, member: 3305"] Signorina, I am so sorry for your heartache and frustration/resentment issues. I do understand. Both husband and I have done this along the way too...I know it's not a good thing for the difficult child's. They need the security of expectation and guidelines/rules...that is the "loving" thing to do and yet sometimes we parents fail at it. Most recently, the rule at our house for young difficult child, was supposed to be that he would not drink or have alcohol at our home or he would be kicked out. Well...first came signs that he had been out drinking and did I kick him out? Nope, afraid he would end up in trouble again and in jail. Then, came alcohol INTO our home. Found it in closets under cabinets even in the backyard. I poured the alcohol down the sink but did I kick him out? Nope, once again afraid that he would really lose it if he were homeless. And sigh...Where is he today? Jail. And I couldn't stop it with any enabling. So I get it, with my own confessions. I hope you and husband can get back to the rules together. A mistake is "okay" if you really try hard to not make it again, right? But, trying to be buddys with our difficult child's or trying to enable in some way sure doesn't work. Wish it did. Hugs, LMS [/QUOTE]
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The "d" in "husband" does not stand for dear-VENT
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