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Parent Emeritus
The inevitable...arrest warrant has been issued
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 654227" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Weary,</p><p></p><p>you don't have to justify anything. You did what seemed right to you , that is enough. It seems right to me too. One of the best things I ever did to my personal relationships was to stop being the bearer of bad tidings, especially if they could reasonably be known by the recipient some other way, or if they would certainly be delivered by another route. Why put myself in that position? Your daughter knows there is some sort of consequence to not showing up in court, I am sure. She can figure out what that consequence is if she cares to. Why do you have to the mediator? You don;t. You shouldn't. I think you did the right thing. </p><p></p><p>Whenever I open my mouth to alert those around me to some bad news...I pause. I think...do I have to be the one to tell them this, do I have to be the vehicle of delivery? If the answer is no...then I stop. I feel better for it. Those around me see me as less negative. Of course if it would help them or change things signicantly I would reconsider...but mostly it makes no difference, and this way I remove myself from the negativity, and I never get caught in the crossfire.</p><p></p><p>This is a situation of her creating, in her control and only in her control from the first crime to the court avoidance to now. You can't make her do anything (duh!). Stay out of it.</p><p></p><p>Its great that you tell her you love her, and that she says it back. A gift to both of you.</p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 654227, member: 17269"] Weary, you don't have to justify anything. You did what seemed right to you , that is enough. It seems right to me too. One of the best things I ever did to my personal relationships was to stop being the bearer of bad tidings, especially if they could reasonably be known by the recipient some other way, or if they would certainly be delivered by another route. Why put myself in that position? Your daughter knows there is some sort of consequence to not showing up in court, I am sure. She can figure out what that consequence is if she cares to. Why do you have to the mediator? You don;t. You shouldn't. I think you did the right thing. Whenever I open my mouth to alert those around me to some bad news...I pause. I think...do I have to be the one to tell them this, do I have to be the vehicle of delivery? If the answer is no...then I stop. I feel better for it. Those around me see me as less negative. Of course if it would help them or change things signicantly I would reconsider...but mostly it makes no difference, and this way I remove myself from the negativity, and I never get caught in the crossfire. This is a situation of her creating, in her control and only in her control from the first crime to the court avoidance to now. You can't make her do anything (duh!). Stay out of it. Its great that you tell her you love her, and that she says it back. A gift to both of you. Hugs, Echo [/QUOTE]
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The inevitable...arrest warrant has been issued
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