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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 497353" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>TL, you are a very strong and compassionate mom. I know it was hard to endure that time, wondering what had happened to him, hoping it wasn't the worst, doing all you could to trust him and to trust your Higher Power.</p><p></p><p>I totally agree that while it may be a bit enabling, giving him grocery money is not a bad thing. It is so hard to wonder what they are going through, to know they are NOT safe somewhere with a door and a lock between them and the elements and other people. While you could be a stickler to the "every penny we give him is a penny he has for drugs", it probably would push him toward stealing. He has enough problems with-o a theft charge. I doubt I could let my child go with-o food in his situation, esp because he sounds sober, he is NOT out partying as far as you know, and he is trying. He could go steal and probably get a place to stay for a few nights, or steal to get caught so he could sleep in jail. I know addicts who have chosen that rather than to tough it out on the beach or the streets. The storm likely won't kill him and it is awesome that he asked for the weather report, thanked you politely and id NOT ask for a room somewhere. in my opinion that shows growth and taking some level of responsibility.</p><p></p><p>It has to be HARD to live on the streets and stay sober. It would be easy to justify alcohol and easy to get it. So far that doesn't seem to be the case and if grocery $ is a reward, well, maybe he has earned it? </p><p></p><p>Of course I don't know and haven't walked in your shoes. I do know poeple who have been in your son's shoes and would have broken all sorts of laws with-o any regret BECAUSE they were sleeping on a beach or street or in a squat. They would be the first to tell a store owner that their family was awful, abused them, etc.... because the family wouldn't pay for their lifestyle of sub abuse and nonstop partying.</p><p></p><p>You are a great mom and a very compassionate person who knows her son well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 497353, member: 1233"] TL, you are a very strong and compassionate mom. I know it was hard to endure that time, wondering what had happened to him, hoping it wasn't the worst, doing all you could to trust him and to trust your Higher Power. I totally agree that while it may be a bit enabling, giving him grocery money is not a bad thing. It is so hard to wonder what they are going through, to know they are NOT safe somewhere with a door and a lock between them and the elements and other people. While you could be a stickler to the "every penny we give him is a penny he has for drugs", it probably would push him toward stealing. He has enough problems with-o a theft charge. I doubt I could let my child go with-o food in his situation, esp because he sounds sober, he is NOT out partying as far as you know, and he is trying. He could go steal and probably get a place to stay for a few nights, or steal to get caught so he could sleep in jail. I know addicts who have chosen that rather than to tough it out on the beach or the streets. The storm likely won't kill him and it is awesome that he asked for the weather report, thanked you politely and id NOT ask for a room somewhere. in my opinion that shows growth and taking some level of responsibility. It has to be HARD to live on the streets and stay sober. It would be easy to justify alcohol and easy to get it. So far that doesn't seem to be the case and if grocery $ is a reward, well, maybe he has earned it? Of course I don't know and haven't walked in your shoes. I do know poeple who have been in your son's shoes and would have broken all sorts of laws with-o any regret BECAUSE they were sleeping on a beach or street or in a squat. They would be the first to tell a store owner that their family was awful, abused them, etc.... because the family wouldn't pay for their lifestyle of sub abuse and nonstop partying. You are a great mom and a very compassionate person who knows her son well. [/QUOTE]
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