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The other shoe has dropped.
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<blockquote data-quote="dashcat" data-source="post: 599477" data-attributes="member: 9175"><p>It might just be where I am today, but I cannot see any way that a baby will "straighten out" my difficult child. I know that a baby can wake up an immature, self-centered person ... sometimes. But, c'mon, guys. If babies straightened people out, this world would be a very different place. If babies straightened people out, we could just do away with the entire Children's services department and spend our tax dollars bailing out banks or something.</p><p></p><p>The reality is that my bi-polar daughter can barely take care of a houseplant. She has the attention span of a gnat and, though her heart is big, she has a very difficult time following rules of any kind. She wants this to work. And maybe it can, but it won't work without some very serious work on her part. And it won't work quickly. In the meantime ... while she is (if she is) working on this, this child will be living in an extremely dysfunctional home. </p><p></p><p>I remember thinking, during the starry-eyed early years with my child, that her adoption stopped the cycle that was that of her dysfunctional birth family. She, unlike her young, frightened, and largely-abandoned birthmother, would have a happy and secure childhood. And she did. She speaks of it often. She had jars of firelfies, birthday parties, sleepovers with scores of giggling girls, drive-in movies, family dinners, cousins, chocolate chip pancakes, private school, voice lessons, and the full scrapbooks to prove it all.</p><p></p><p>And then, the bi-polar monster grabbed her and she plummeted into the very world we thought she would never see. . And now it is highly likely that her child will be raised in a near identical environment to the one we believed we were saving her from. We didn't stop the cycle. All we did was postpone it . </p><p>I need to be angry for awhile. I need to cycle through the stages of grief until I finally, inevitably, reach acceptance. And then, maybe, I can look on the bright side.</p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/smile.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":smile:" title="smile :smile:" data-shortname=":smile:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dashcat, post: 599477, member: 9175"] It might just be where I am today, but I cannot see any way that a baby will "straighten out" my difficult child. I know that a baby can wake up an immature, self-centered person ... sometimes. But, c'mon, guys. If babies straightened people out, this world would be a very different place. If babies straightened people out, we could just do away with the entire Children's services department and spend our tax dollars bailing out banks or something. The reality is that my bi-polar daughter can barely take care of a houseplant. She has the attention span of a gnat and, though her heart is big, she has a very difficult time following rules of any kind. She wants this to work. And maybe it can, but it won't work without some very serious work on her part. And it won't work quickly. In the meantime ... while she is (if she is) working on this, this child will be living in an extremely dysfunctional home. I remember thinking, during the starry-eyed early years with my child, that her adoption stopped the cycle that was that of her dysfunctional birth family. She, unlike her young, frightened, and largely-abandoned birthmother, would have a happy and secure childhood. And she did. She speaks of it often. She had jars of firelfies, birthday parties, sleepovers with scores of giggling girls, drive-in movies, family dinners, cousins, chocolate chip pancakes, private school, voice lessons, and the full scrapbooks to prove it all. And then, the bi-polar monster grabbed her and she plummeted into the very world we thought she would never see. . And now it is highly likely that her child will be raised in a near identical environment to the one we believed we were saving her from. We didn't stop the cycle. All we did was postpone it . I need to be angry for awhile. I need to cycle through the stages of grief until I finally, inevitably, reach acceptance. And then, maybe, I can look on the bright side. :smile: [/QUOTE]
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