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The other shoe....
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 483256"><p>Thank you Janet... and I appreciated your vent for me. lol...He is so manipulative and he does suck me in so easily it is good to have others put a name to it when they hear it!!!</p><p></p><p>And I am also struck by what kimno is saying about the transition to a relationship with an adult child. My experience with this is so so different between my two kids. My daugther is 16 and is very much a easy child. She is a wonderful young woman with a really good head on her shoulders... and so the transitioning in our relationship where she starts getting more and more freedom just feels so natural. Am I nervous about her getting her drivers liscence in a few weeks... oh definitely but my fears are more around other drivers than her. I don't even feel the need to lay down the law about rules on car use because she knows what they are without question. It is just so different.</p><p></p><p>And of course the difference is trust. I trust her. She has never given me any reason not to trust her. Has she lied Occupational Therapist (OT) me or done something I disapprove of, probably at some point she has, most kids do. But she is honest, she talks to me, I have never caughter her lying to me, she doesn't do drugs.... I trust her and so it is easier to let her go. And she is also much more naturally independent. </p><p></p><p>My difficult child wants his freedom but he still wants oru financial support... and he lies to us constantly and always has. So she will move on be independent and the transition will be pretty easy on all of us.... and it will continue to be a struggle with him.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 483256"] Thank you Janet... and I appreciated your vent for me. lol...He is so manipulative and he does suck me in so easily it is good to have others put a name to it when they hear it!!! And I am also struck by what kimno is saying about the transition to a relationship with an adult child. My experience with this is so so different between my two kids. My daugther is 16 and is very much a easy child. She is a wonderful young woman with a really good head on her shoulders... and so the transitioning in our relationship where she starts getting more and more freedom just feels so natural. Am I nervous about her getting her drivers liscence in a few weeks... oh definitely but my fears are more around other drivers than her. I don't even feel the need to lay down the law about rules on car use because she knows what they are without question. It is just so different. And of course the difference is trust. I trust her. She has never given me any reason not to trust her. Has she lied Occupational Therapist (OT) me or done something I disapprove of, probably at some point she has, most kids do. But she is honest, she talks to me, I have never caughter her lying to me, she doesn't do drugs.... I trust her and so it is easier to let her go. And she is also much more naturally independent. My difficult child wants his freedom but he still wants oru financial support... and he lies to us constantly and always has. So she will move on be independent and the transition will be pretty easy on all of us.... and it will continue to be a struggle with him. TL [/QUOTE]
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