The path not taken...

[JJJ]

With a reunion of my old volunteer work coming up, I'm forced to consider the path not taken. Many, many of my dear friends from that time of my life stuck with that area of work. I do miss it horribly at times. We are all exchanging updates via an online group in prep for an in person reunion. These are people that I'd pull 20 hour shifts with, we'd work hard and play hard. There are others, like me, that took another path.

As I try to figure out what direction to go with my post-difficult child life, I look back to see if there is a path not taken that I may have the opportunity to travel again. But never again will I be 20-something with the world ahead of me and every option, a possibility.

 

[Fran]

Isn't that the truth?
Wonder how life would have turned out if I had done some things differently.
JJJ, you have opportunities to try some of the things that you have always wanted. Sometimes I think once our difficult child's and easy child's are somewhat out of our homes we find we are in withdrawal from the adrenalin rush. Lack of a pressure filled life seems strange so we fill it with other things that give us that harried life(hence 3 dogs) Take your time and figure out how you want to look at the next chapter of your life.

 

[timer lady]

JJJ,

This has been on my mind for several weeks; so many dreams I chased & let go of over the years.

I can't say I regret my choices & I've lived my life as my parents raised me - with love given, received, a close knit family, good friends & hospitality, & to always do right.

Yet those dreams surely haunt me of late.

 

[muttmeister]

I think we all have those thoughts once in awile but I have come to the conclusion that if I had my life to live over again, I would not make the same mistakes but I would probably make a whole set of new ones that might be just as bad or worse. Now that I am a couple of years past 60, my friends and I have discussed this and I refuse to regret much of anything.

 

[DammitJanet]

Mutt...that is very profound.

I have always regretted many things. I know without a doubt I messed up my life in a major way right off the bat as many of our difficult child's do. I quit HS, got pregnant, married at 18 to an abusive jerk I didnt love, got divorced and then went haywire for a few years, then met Tony and settled down and had the younger two kids.

If I had done things right, I could have gone to college right out of HS and who knows what I could have been or done. I often think about that. Would I have married? Would I have had kids? They certainly wouldnt have been THESE kids! I wouldnt have met and been with Tony. I doubt someone else would have handled my bipolar as well as he has.

I guess it was just fate that I was meant to do things in this way so that I had these kids for a reason. I was put here to be in their lives to parent them. I needed Tony because of my problems. It just was meant to be.

 

[DaisyFace]

JJJ--

Thank you for posting about this...

I have been thinking a lot about this, too. We need to start bringing in more money, so I am on the hunt AGAIN for some crappy part-time job that can revolve around school schedules, therapy and Dr visits....soemthing that won't give me a hard time about leaving in the middle of work because there is a crisis at school.

And I walk into these places and find myself filling out job applications next to kids half my age.... And I feel so out of place. What am I doing here? How come I am not mid-level at some nice career by now? How come I am still stuck at part-time and minimum wage? How come I have not done better for myself?

O....yeah, that's right. My children.



--DaisyF