The tweedles turn 17.....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by timer lady, Jul 1, 2011.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    on the 5th. Can you believe it? It seems like yesterday they weren't. :bigsmile:


    I attended 2 staffings in the last 2 weeks; another intake mtg for kt as well. therapist at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) asked me what kt & I did together for fun. I have no idea....it's been so long since we've done something together that was fun. I confessed to therapist that I'm more of a case manager than a mom & have been for years.

    Anyway......

    I'm on the lookout for gifts for kt & wm. I'm struggling because I know so little of the tweedles likes, wants; I know their needs that's for sure.

    I'm sad this evening that I don't know my children better. I'm sad because it will be another birthday spent away from home...another celebration at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) & foster home.


    Thanks for the shoulder, ladies.
     
  2. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Hugs Linda. It must be a bittersweet day.
     
  3. Hugs and sympathy, lady.
     
  4. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Hugs.

    And a few more weeks...we can give you those hugs in person!
     
  5. ML

    ML Guest

    I wanted to give you hugs too. You have always been an inspiration to me.
     
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Many gentle hugs. I would say for gifts to think about things to help them manage their lives as adults. Gift cards for wm as he navigates the world - to places to eat if he goes to them, to itunes or another music site if that is helpful to him, maybe a new mp3 player to keep his music on, or even one that uses school district cards sot hat he can put one kind on one card and expand as he gets more music. I would stay away from computer and phone gadgets as they may not be able to make good choices on those.

    If you are considering phones for them, take a look at kajeet (if you are not locked into a contract). Also think about experience gifts. Not items to keep, memories to make and things to learn. Classes at an arts center (we have a community art center here with classes from quilting to sewing to stained glass to photography to making your own spa products and cooking classed), or in some topic they obsess on. We did a LOT of lectures on dinosaurs when Wiz was little. Often he was the youngest one there and the one with the best questions. Even at six when he was rolling on the floor for part of it he still asked the best questions - NOT my perspective but what the lecturers told us time and again. Maybe a museum membership or a class at a gym or pool? Or an outward bound experience if that would be doable and helpful.

    Maybe scrapbooking things to help them compile memories? Or what about thigns to help them create their future. At that age I got stuff for my dorm room (went to college a month before age 18) and my mom started giving me Christmas ornaments and decorations. NOt typical birthday gifts, but she recognized that soon I would have my own home and want/need my own decorations, so starting my collection was her way of beginning to sort of let me go and be my own adult.

    What are their favorite foods? If they have one, consider indulging it. One of my most memorable gifts from husband was 8 pints of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. They lasted months and I savored every single bite. Consider ordering a shipment of ice cream from Graeter's in Cincinnati. They are the only ice cream maker in the US to still use the French Pot process, and batches are far smaller than those of any other ice cream place. I have tried fancy/expensive/gourmet ice creams from all over the country and NONE are as good as Graeters. There may be an extra fee for the flavors with chips - it is more than well worth the price. The chips are NOT uniform - some are small and many are HUGE. And if they/you like dark chocolate then ordering Graeter's bittersweet sauce is a MUST - it is the most intense, amazing and wonderful chocolate sauce I ahve ever found. And trust me, I have tried a LOT of chocolate sauces! Having grown up in Cincy, I didn't realize how special Graeter's is until we moved away. It was one of my favorite things about moving back to OH with husband. That is truly the BEST ice cream (better than Ben and Jerry's or Hagen Daz - seriously, not joking) and the BEST chocolate sauce. They do shipments all over the country packed in dry ice, and they work very well. The shipment my family got in July one year was actually too hard to eat when we opened it!

    Then there are clothes. Those are often items that teens enjoy. Maybe a gift cert or promise to take them shopping or send them with an attendant when they are able to do that would be good.

    Of course, books are also always fun - at least in my family. but we would rather read than breathe, so we may not by typical. I had to quite working at bookstores because we couldn't afford it - too many temptations, Know what I mean??
     
  7. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    *hugs* Linda. Have you asked them what they would like? Or taken a look around their rooms to get an idea?
     
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    It's even hard for me to believe that they have reached 17 as I think they were 6 when I joined the Board. Hugs. I'm not too swift this morning so don't have many ideas. One thing that you might consider is a gift that arrives monthly like a magazine subscription? Most kids love to get something thru the mail and having something to look forward. Hope you find the "right" things. DDD
     
  9. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I have no additional ideas on gifts but wanted to say Happy B-day- to you and them both!

    We have about 6 mos to go here before the 17th one and yes, it sure seems to have gone by fast in many ways.
     
  10. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Just thinking of you...Hoping you all have a joyous birthday celebration.

    Hugs and care,
    LMS
     
  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    wow...17 already? it simply cannot be! I cannot be that old already...lol. I remember them as just little tweedles!

    Gifts? Well...I think they are going to be completely different for each kid even though they are twins. Since Wm will never be living with you again I think I would think about something he could use going forward. What does he already have? What can he have in the foster home? Is he allowed to have a TV? That might be a nice thing if he is allowed to have one because when he does move onto the next placement, I am thinking it will be at least a room by himself and a TV might be a nice thing. If not that, what about an Ipod or something like that where he can download movies and music so he can watch stuff on it.

    For KT, does she read? How about a Kindle type thing? jewelry making stuff? New bedding?
     
  12. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Those all sound like great ideas...hugs for you and happy birthday wishes to the tweedles.
     
  13. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    I recall when they were little and we spoke.
    Yep, it must be an odd day. Perhaps if there is time for this birthday or in the future for the next (which is even MORE important) you can plan for this by asking them sort of sneaky questions in the months ahead of time. You could also ask their therapists some general questions and it problem would be fine to tell them your intentions.
    Write down some replies you get on a calendar near their birthday date so you don't forget...I've done this before. Otherwise...if it is a couple of months down the road....chances are I wont remember what I was told.
     
  14. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I think both would love their favorite home-baked goodies and a brief but heartfelt note letting each know that you love them. {{{Hugs}}}
     
  15. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Ok........omg, what happened to the little tweedles? I remember them being so little. wow Seems not really that long ago.

    Honestly? I had issues with what to get my kids at that age and we were still very close. It's sort of an awkward age to buy for. I think it was about that age I opted for the favorite meal or baked goods. It was easier on me as half the time even when they told me what they wanted I had little clue what they were talking about. lol They never complained about the meal or the baked goods by the way.

    Hugs
     
  16. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, Linda. That is truly bittersweet.
    I have all the same ideas everyone else has. I have no idea how safe personal items are in the group home.
    I guess I'd stick with-gift cards for Subway, Shoe Carnival, that sort of thing. It's hard enough to buy for any 17-yr-old.
     
  17. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Wow, happy birthday to them both!

    You know in your heart that you and husband gave them a better life than they would have ever had without you. Just because they aren't "home" for this day doesn't mean it's any less special. You are a constant in their lives, even if it's not always in the capacity that you'd like. We do what we can, we give what we can. You've given them so much already.

    However the day was spent today, knowing that you are there for them and love them is the greatest gift of all.

    ((((Hugs))))
     
  18. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I've ordered a purse kt found online & loves. wm wants a cell phone. foster mum thinks it's about time for wm to learn to handle himself with the world & is fine with it. I, on the other hand need to check in with his staff. It would be a prepaid phone.

    I love the idea of baked goodies. wm loves my teriyaki fried rice & has been asking for some. Think I'll get my wok out & start frying. I can make kt her favorite fresh strawberry muffins.

    Thanks ladies. I'll get over my sad & move forward.


     
  19. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Linda, look into kajeet.com - they make the most parental controls for any plan. It would help ease him into the world of cell phones slower than many plans. Otherwise, depending on what you want to offer, the basic $10 tracfone is fine for calls but AWFUL for texts (I was trying to use the word catch and the ONLY thing it would enter was a C word that I absolutely will NOT say - 4 letter c word, you can guess I am sure. I spent TEN MINUTES trying to find a away to put that word in and NOT the word the predictive algorithm wanted it to be and could not do it). The lgQWERTY model by tracfone is VERY nice and just $29.99. texts cost 1/2 minute to send and 1/2 minute to read. Internet costs minutes also, no way to NOT have internet on a phone now. husband just got the touch screen model on net10, the lg800. It is really nice also. Tracfone gives double minutes for life with most of their phones but net10 does not.

    Kajeet may be more expensive, but they have the best gps features (parents can activate the gps on a plan or for about $1 each time) and parental controls of any company on the market today. Virgin Mobile has a phone that is $25 for unlimited text, talk, and internet but the phones are costly. Other companies are quite expensive comparatively to tracfone and net10.

    I just did a bunch of research and this was what I learned, so maybe it will save you some time and effort.
     
  20. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Thanks, Susie. You've saved me a ton in research. wm is coming for a visit this afternoon - plan on getting a small cake & am in the process of making his favorite stir fry. I'll head out to the store once I hear back from staff.
     
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