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therapist told difficult child to move back home (our home) with or without E
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 547946" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>I'm not from your area, not even in the US. However, are rent amounts that different there? I would think of they currently pay $800 rent to live in someone else's home, they could find a small apartment and cover the expenses for $800. Am I incorrect? I can't imagine there is nothing available in that range per month. It may mean a dumpy place. But it would be private and theirs. It may mean less luxury but it would be private and theirs. Maybe they wouldn't be able to also pay for big Internet or cable television packages on top of rent and electric etc. but it would be private and theirs. </p><p></p><p>I really think that as much as I'd maybe wish to help, if they are working and about to become married, they can and probably should figure this out on their own. I could even see helping them locate an affordable rental and maybe helping get cheap used basics if needed. Maybe a loan, if you and your husband are comfortable with it and can agree on it, for security deposit or something. Seeing as your husband sounds set on them not moving in, and hearing your own desire to have that empty nest, I just don't see this boding well for you and your husband. Would your husband be agreeable to helping in another way to work together to secure them an apartment that keeps their expenses at what they currently pay? If so, that would be my offer of assistance. I admit however that I'm a little hard core in my thinking about letting adults who work and are capable, take care of their own business. And I'm hard core in that I am always open to helping an adult (matt is moved out now for 18 months , living with his girlfriend, paying a mortgage and house repairs , car, insurance etc). However moving home when there was $800 available for rent and bills? I guess I can never say never. But I'd be hard pressed to feel inclined. I do however think you're a great parent that you are considering it. And we all are different. If your husband comes around to the idea, I sure wouldn't judge you letting them or even just your daughter, stay. I do hope though that it wouldn't cause tension between you and your husband. That would be unfair to you and him both. Good luck either way. It does sound like it is a not great arrangement they have right now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 547946, member: 4264"] I'm not from your area, not even in the US. However, are rent amounts that different there? I would think of they currently pay $800 rent to live in someone else's home, they could find a small apartment and cover the expenses for $800. Am I incorrect? I can't imagine there is nothing available in that range per month. It may mean a dumpy place. But it would be private and theirs. It may mean less luxury but it would be private and theirs. Maybe they wouldn't be able to also pay for big Internet or cable television packages on top of rent and electric etc. but it would be private and theirs. I really think that as much as I'd maybe wish to help, if they are working and about to become married, they can and probably should figure this out on their own. I could even see helping them locate an affordable rental and maybe helping get cheap used basics if needed. Maybe a loan, if you and your husband are comfortable with it and can agree on it, for security deposit or something. Seeing as your husband sounds set on them not moving in, and hearing your own desire to have that empty nest, I just don't see this boding well for you and your husband. Would your husband be agreeable to helping in another way to work together to secure them an apartment that keeps their expenses at what they currently pay? If so, that would be my offer of assistance. I admit however that I'm a little hard core in my thinking about letting adults who work and are capable, take care of their own business. And I'm hard core in that I am always open to helping an adult (matt is moved out now for 18 months , living with his girlfriend, paying a mortgage and house repairs , car, insurance etc). However moving home when there was $800 available for rent and bills? I guess I can never say never. But I'd be hard pressed to feel inclined. I do however think you're a great parent that you are considering it. And we all are different. If your husband comes around to the idea, I sure wouldn't judge you letting them or even just your daughter, stay. I do hope though that it wouldn't cause tension between you and your husband. That would be unfair to you and him both. Good luck either way. It does sound like it is a not great arrangement they have right now. [/QUOTE]
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therapist told difficult child to move back home (our home) with or without E
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